My intentions were good.
I assumed my affairs would be fine.
But I know very well
There's a long road to hell
That's been paved with intentions like mine.
--Billy Joel, All My Life
This is that moment. THAT moment.
This is that moment where I realize perhaps I descend not from the womb of Eve but from the bowels of the serpent.
The one where I stop short because, holy smokes, I just convinced my kids that breaking their Lenten fast was okay because it was their father's birthday, a special day, and after all, one break from the fast will not make or break their salvation.....God loves them; God won't mind; God understands .....we cannot, after all, be made perfect by the Law.....we cannot be good enough.....we cannot.....
Grace has us covered.
And they believe it. I believe it!
But then there's this: Jesus did not waiver in his fast, did not cave to temptation and certainly did not convince his flock to do so!
"Follow Jesus!" we are told....."What would Jesus do?" we are asked....."Pick up your cross, and follow me," we are lovingly beckoned.
Then realize how low your head will hang on that cross.
|We wander and wander.....|
|So blind, we do not even know we are lost.....|
As he (Jesus) went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man, nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." - John 9:1-3
Oh thank God! For I am blind.....so blind I often cannot even see my own blindness!
And so I wander......and walk in circles.....and the cock crows in the face of my denial.....for I am so, so blind.
Waiting to be found.
Yet, somehow, already covered.