Rotisserie Chicken, or, Why We Will Enroll Her in Gymnastics

These pictures were taken in our garage where the girls like to hang from the treadmill....Lily, although only two, can almost flip herself all the way over already....


The Hen Cam

The Hen Cam: This is the coolest chicken site yet! This wonderful woman has a webcam looking over her chicken coop where you can watch her hens all day long! Make sure to look inside...you may catch one laying an egg! (And the best part: her lop-eared bunny lives in there, too! It's like my own personal heaven!)

This week I discovered that my kids have an entrepreneurial flare. I was cleaning out the truck, getting ready for our trip down to Legoland, when it became apparent that they had been running a garage sale out of the back for some time. This particular day I found: 2 pairs of Mary Janes, 2 pairs of flip-flops, 1 pair of sandals, 3 water shoes, 1 shoe insole, 1 book, 1 Superman cape, a Jango Fett helmet, 1 knee pad, 3 sharpened pencils (which are NEVER a good thing to have laying around in the car...and one look up at the ceiling of the car will confirm why....BTW, have you any idea how milk can spill on the ceiling?) one adult swim suit complete with a wrap and one piece of mail that isn't even ours NOR in English! Now, I will take credit for the swimsuit but you have got to be kidding me! I wouldn't have been surprised to find another kid in there! And what makes this so impressive is that it has only been ONE WEEK since I last cleaned out the car. 

At any rate, after getting the truck emptied out, we filled it back up with the stuff needed for a day at Legoland, ran an errand, picked up some coffee, dropped off some dry-cleaning, picked up Midora (our 9 year old Mommy's Helper) and drove south. At 10 a.m. we arrived at my good friend Mary's who was planning on joining us to help even out the adult-child ratio but upon arriving at her house, we found out she had a beehive. And no, I am not referring to a new hair-do. Mary had been on her porch that morning and noticed an overabundance of bees. She looked a little closer and there was a hive about the size of, I don't know, LIAM, in her apple tree. So, since she had to wait for the bee man to come take the hive down she was no longer able to join us. 

So, as you have probably already noted, that left me and 5 kids, on our way to Legoland. And since I seem to have inherited my willfulness from my husband's side of the family, there was no chance I was going to change my plans after we had already made the hour drive. 

By the time we arrived at Legoland, the kids were complaining they were hungry but I was determined to put eating off until they had burned off some energy. So we started off in the Lego building rooms where Lily immediately tried to use the side of the Lego vat as a balance beam. After quickly falling in, she tried walking around in the Legos (picture the scene in I Love Lucy where Lucy is stomping in the barrels of grapes....It was NOTHING like that as legos are NOT soft and squishy!) Lily learned quickly that Legos are best left to building and I was just happy that she wasn't pulling her diaper off and pooping on the floor like the last time I had the kids there by myself (Hey, if at first you don't succeed, wait until you forget about the experience and try, try again...)

We then headed through Miniland where I had to stop Madeline from trying to trample through Legowood (kind of like Hollywood only more genuine) and by this time, the kids were acting as if they would succumb to famish at any moment. We tried to find something edible that didn't require a home equity loan but apparently theme parks are all about price gouging and those of us who forget we actually packed snacks end up with more food than we need and no money left for the ice cream treats we promised a week ago.  (I was kicking myself for not holding onto the money I found in the kids car seats.) 

At any rate, the kids did end up riding a few rides (yay Baby Bjorn!), getting their ice pops (yay credit!) watching a fire safety show (yay...for the sake of uniformity!) and making it home safely (and big, huge, grace-filled YAY!) which made for a fairly good day given it was me and FIVE kids (in case you didn't catch that the first time). 

I only wish we had it on the Hen Cam to prove it. 


Tastes Like Chicken

Things that have been said to "taste like chicken": Fried frog legs, fried rattlesnake, fried alligator, any other bird (minus ostrich), rabbit, tofu, and many other unidentifiable foods, (especially of the fried variety)...basically, anything can taste a little like chicken...

So, Kurt used to have this, well, let's call it a hobby to be nice. You see, he, like many other people on the internet, spent hours each week (or day as the case was) playing an online game called Never Winter Nights. From what I have been told, it is a lesser evil than World of Warcrafts but perhaps still the next of kin. At any rate, he would get online with his brothers and other online "friends" and they would go on these great adventures, creating all sorts of incredible characters that had all sorts of amazing strengths or abilities, fighting Sissy and Prissy, (dragons) and resurrecting each other from the dead and getting lost in limbo and well, you get my drift. It's a whole different world.

Once, at church, Aidan told his teacher that his daddy was at home playing his game on the computer. I can almost hear the conversation in my head:

"So Aidan, are you here with your mommy and daddy today?"

"No, Daddy's at home fighting dragons."

Anyway, one day, after missing out on about nine months of our lives, Kurt realized, "Wait, we had another baby?" and he decided to hang up his gaming spreadsheets and take a break (a very long never-ending break right honey? Honey...?) That was a sad, sad day. 

So, somewhere along the lines, Kurt's folks brought Aidan a froggy stuffed animal in the Webkinz family. If you don't know about Webkinz, you are truly missing out....if you are seven. For, if you adopt a Webkinz, you can go online and create a whole world around this animal. There are games to be played, jobs to do, money to be earned and spent, food to be eaten, houses to build up etc. and did I mention the games to be played? 

Well, this weekend, Aidan needed help figuring out how to play a game for his froggy, (known as Jackson.) Kurt went to help him and I fear he has now fallen off the wagon once again. You see, long after we sent Aidan and his siblings to bed, Kurt was still plugging away at this "strategy game" MEANT FOR 5-10 YEAR OLDS! It was all fine and dandy until I heard Kurt say:

"Man, Squiggles is TOUGH!" 

And that's when I knew, even online games can taste a little like chicken...

Fresh Chicken

Tip of the day: When you have 4 small children, it is never a good idea to buy fresh chicken that needs to be used the same day, or even by the next day. (Unless of course you don't mind eating chicken that was supposed to be used 3 or 4 days earlier...then I say, "Go For It!") 

Even the best intentions often get swallowed up by the unexpected. A good friend of mine once read our Mom's Group a poem saying "God bless our good intentions." Of course, we never fail to follow through on our good intentions around here...(In case you didn't already, insert sarcasm around "Of Course"...) Actually, I think I ask God to bless my good intentions at least once a day...

Likewise, a mother of 4 should NEVER say she will get on and blog something the very next day, complete with pictures no less, unless she happens to have that something written and on auto-send (if that is even possible). You know, kind of like you never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see the baby on its way out of her. So, for this mistake, I apologize. I know you all have been eagerly awaiting Lily's birthday post with the pictures...

So, here it is. Lily's 2nd birthday.

First, we dropped Aidan off at school and went next door to our favorite coffee shop, Sugar Pies. Tami, the owner, is very hands on and loves kids. She brought out some musical instruments and sang Happy Birthday and then read books to Madeline and gave the girls each a bandana (ok, so the bandanas are technically meant for dogs but hey, they are cute on little girls, too.)

Then we headed out to the store to pick out a little gift. Lily picked out a box of three super friends (which Aidan immediately traded for some of his old ones) and a little pink purse and Madeline wanted to get Lily a My Little Pony (which she traded for one of her old ones). (Liam didn't seem to care so long as he got to sleep through it all and Lily was just happy to have a purse to stash Batman in.)

Finally, we weren't going to throw a party because we are cutting back some on our budget, and parties, well, they get kind of expensive. (Plus, she's two! Like she cares!) So, we decided to go with the left over cake I already wrote about and the little token gift. And then I won this free balloon bouquet to be delivered by Princess Pipsqueak, a real live clown. And since I LOVE CLOWNS and some day think it would be fun to BE A CLOWN (more on that later) I thought, hey, this is the perfect birthday gift for a 2 year old (and her mother). And then I spoke to Princess Pipsqueak and she was all, "Sooooo, you aren't have a party for your kid's birthday? (pause) Don't you think she might want a friend or two around to meet the clown at least?" (insert GUILT at will...) And as we thought about it, well, Lily does have a little friend here (Mia) and we thought, hey, that would be nice. So, Lily ended up with her little friend (and her family) over to enjoy an AWESOME cake from Dairy Queen (see previous post) and a Clown who chased them around the house until they were all worn out. God bless our good intentions but thanks for giving us what we didn't plan as well!
Lily cuddles up to Princess Pipsqueak

                            Lily opens her gift, with a little help from her siblings

         Lily inserts Batman into her pink purse...you just never know when you may need him...


Frozen Chicken

Apparently, many people freeze chicken to use for later. I have a hard time with this, mainly because our freezer really isn't big enough for much more than our ice box and veggies but also because once I put something in there, it is often forgotten....

So, I opened my freezer and pulled out the chunk of birthday cake I had frozen after my birthday two weeks ago. I thought maybe we could save some money by just recycling my birthday cake for Lily's birthday today but I have to say, there was NOTHING good about that thawed-out half-eaten cake. The flowers were smooshed, the cake was soggy, the icing tasted a little on the chemical side and there was NO WAY ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET I was going to make Lily eat that to celebrate her birthday! (I might as well serve the frozen chicken...) I was faced with a dilemma of course and my thoughts drifted to Little Town on the Prairie (Little House), where I am certain Ma had made a cake of some sort, (maybe a honey cake?) from scratch after hanging the clothes out to dry and milking the cow...and since our dryer has been broken and the clothes were out drying and we don't have a cow but I certainly do a lot of "milking" I thought, I, too could make a home made cake...but then I realized I had just used the last of the sugar to make our pancake syrup this morning, and that thought quickly vanished as I was certainly not up for taking 4 hot kids to the store for some sugar. After a call to the Dairy Queen, with a fully functioning drive-thru window, we raced out the door to buy a delicious Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard Cake. And I have to say, it was TOTALLY worth it! Happy Birthday to US!

When we got home, I had to rummage around my freezer to make room for the cake. As I already mentioned, we have a small freezer to begin with but what I can't possibly understand is, why was there an empty plastic water bottle in there, or worse yet, an empty box of ice cream, WITH FREEZER BURN! That's just wrong! It's almost as bad as when I cleaned out my car a couple weeks ago and I found 10 (that's T-E-N) pairs of kids shoes on the floor, 1 pair of slippers, 1 frilly princess shoe, 1 orange jelly sandal, 5 pairs of dirty socks and 1 completely hardened donut, hidden in the compartment next to Lily which I am guessing she was saving as arsenal for later...who knows when we might be attacked by ravenous coyotes or something and she would need a round object that registers a 10 on the Mohs scale...a diamond in the rough to be certain...

At any rate, Lily had a wonderful "party." Our good friends came over with their two children and we had a clown deliver a balloon bouquet (something I had won at a dinner party) and we had ice cream cake before Lily went running through the sprinklers, in her Birthday Suit...it was so fitting...

Tomorrow, I will post about the rest of the day as we had a delightful time, and there will be pictures, lots of pictures, and I am sure you will have trouble sleeping tonight in anticipation but, please get the rest you need to make it through another Graceful Chicken post! We had some grace-filled moments for sure!

Oh and I don't think there will be room for frozen chicken...


Happy Hens, kind of...

One of our favorite cultural children's books, Daisy Comes Home is about a girl in China who has the six happiest hens. The hens lay brown eggs that Mei Mei sells in the market. The story goes that the smallest hen was always picked on by the other hens who would force the little hen (by pecking and pushing) to sleep alone on the cold floor at night. Then, one day, she decided she'd had enough, so, she went down by the river and slept in a basket. Long story short, the river rose due to rain and carried off the little hen. She had to fight a bunch of animals along the way and then finally ended up at the market where some random guy was going to sell her as dinner. Mei Mei ends up rescuing her and when she gets back to the hen house, the little hen is full of new found confidence and strength and earns a place of her own on the perch with the other hens. And all the hens are happy. The end.

Our version of the story goes more like this:
(In the Car)

We are quietly riding along when Lily decides to sing a little song.

"Tomorrow, I love you," she sings.

"Stop it, Lily!" Madeline says.

"Tomorrow, I love you," Lily repeats a little more determinedly.

"You're Hurting My EARS!" Madeline says, getting annoyed.

"Tomorrow, I love you, Tomorrow, I LOVE YOU!" the broken record (remember those?) yells.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW, LILY!" Madeline screams.

"TOMORROW, I LOVE YOU!" Lily shouts back.

(Somehow, fighting with the words "I love you" just isn't the same.) In order to try to regain control, I attempt to move the arm of the player to the next tune:

"Lily, let's sing something else," I say.

"Maaaaaaaay-beeeeeee faaaaaaaa awaaaaaaaay!" she begins. "Maaaaaaaaay-beeeeeee faaaa...."

"I DON'T LIKE THAT SONG EITHER!" yells the girl who, only a few months back, sang the same song dozens of times a day.

"What would you like to sing then, Madeline?" I ask, oh-so calmly.

"Nothing. I don't like singing," she says.


They learn to push buttons early. Lily will turn two this week but already she knows exactly how to get bloodcurdling reactions from her older sister. And though that isn't saying too much, since Madeline seems to be going through a highly reactive phase, it can be a bit humorous to those of us watching.

For example, the other day during room clean up, Lily found a penny and the scene went something like this:

"Look! A money!" Lily exclaimed.

"Hey, that's MY money," Madeline squealed.

"No! MY MONEY!" Lily said sternly.

"Give it to me, Lily. It's MY MONEY!" Madeline answered.

Lily smiled, held out the penny and said, "Here, Maaa Jane."

Madeline happily reached for it, at which point Lily pulled her hand away and squealed with laughter. The floors then started to shake, the walls trembled and the roof raised about 5 feet as Madeline belted out her indignation.

"GIVE IT TO ME!" she shouted.

"Ok, here Maaaa Jane," Lily said sweetly, holding the penny out to her.

Madeline reached for it again, while saying thank you this time, and Lily immediately pulled the penny back, giggling hysterically as Madeline fell to the ground, arms and legs flailing, and she was so angry she could hardly scream...(well, except for the 'hardly' part.)

At that point I thought maybe I oughta stick Madeline in her own basket, on an adventure down the river...but then, Lily, feeling sorry for her sisters dramatic state, (or perhaps feeling totally and utterly satisfied...such power!) handed Madeline the penny and moved on. All hens were happy again...

...Until last night when I heard a similar bloodcurdling scream from the girls' room and walked in to learn that, God forbid, Lily had the pretty, pink, kitten book that Madeline has cherished ever since Lily had picked it up a few minutes previously.

"What's going on?" I asked, already irritated since it was an hour passed their bed time.

"Lily, has my favorite kitty book and WON'T GIVE IT BACK!" Madeline wails. Lily shows me the book I don't recall ever seeing, and then proceeds to SIT ON IT so Madeline can't get it.

Amidst the crying, I browse through the bookcase and find a similar kitty book for Madeline who quickly trades it with Lily for the other book. After second thought, Madeline asks for her book back and instead of obliging, Lily, having found a new level of confidence, climbs on her bed, holds the book in the air and begins jumping, chanting, "No, MY book."

Thankfully Madeline was already on the floor so she couldn't hurt herself in the collapse that followed...

I left the room to look for a big enough basket but fortunately, when I returned, Madeline had exhausted herself and was sleeping peacefully on the floor, leaving Lily to quietly read both books on her bed. And at least one chick was happy. The end.


To all the Roosters out there: Happy Father's Day!

Well, maybe the rooster isn't the best analogy given how very non-monogamous roosters are but well, they certainly ARE likely to be daddy chickens given the harem they keep...

It seems only natural that on Father's Day I oughta mention some of the important things my own father has taught me over the years. My dad taught me: 

1) Make sure you have your measurements right. For instance, if you have a super high-tech camper, complete with the air-conditioner unit on top, making the thing about 10 feet high, make sure you don't try to drive under something that is only 9 feet high. (But if you do, don't look at all the people in the restaurant windows staring at you....simply pick up the air-conditioner, put it inside the camper, cooly get back in the cab and drive to the next stop...) I am so glad he never tried bungee jumping!

2) Take the time to do things correctly. For example, if you are going to hook up the septic tank on the aforementioned camper at the proper waste dumping place, make sure the hoses are hooked up all the way before you open the thing up.....Again, so glad he never bungee jumped. 

3) Trust those who may know better than you. Like, if you don't know where you are going and your 4 year old is saying you are going the wrong way, don't keep driving a few more miles. (My dear hubbie also recently learned the same thing about his GPS system when he had picked his brother up from the airport, got back on the highway and the GPS kept telling him to "get off at the next exit, and then get back on." Kurt decided to IGNORE the GPS and keep going, only to find out he was headed in the wrong direction down the highway...I suppose we do marry someone like our father afterall...)  Bottom line, trust the GPS...even if they are only 4. 

4) Something that is too good to be true, probably is just that. For example, that apartment complex  "up north" that will make you a lot of money if only you give some guy a lot of money to "go in with him on it"...well, it's too good to be true. Or, the magnets that are the next best thing in preventative and therapeutic medicine so you MUST buy an entire garage full to sell and retire off the profits? Too good to be true...

5) There is a time and place for everything. But church isn't usually the time or place. Especially when you are sitting in the choir loft, making raccoon eyes at your children.  With Mom SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM! (Next up: Bungee Jumping...)

But in all seriousness, the most important thing my father taught me is that life, and all its craziness, is worth laughing about.  If it is funny, point it out. If it isn't, find out how to make it so.  (And then blame it on the kids if the only thing you can think of happens to stink...)

Thanks dad. Happy Father's Day. 


Lesson on Egg Yolks

"As soon as you drop the egg on the floor, cover it completely in salt. You may need to use a cup or more. It's important that it is totally engulfed in salt. Wait ten minutes. After ten minutes the salt will have absorbed all the liquid of the egg yolk and the egg and salt will become a solid mass. At this point you can simply sweep it up with a broom and throw it away!" -eHow.com

Or, you could do what most sane people do and take 5 minutes using a paper towel (or 4) to clean it up, saving yourself 5 minutes and a whole bunch of salt in the process.

The thing I love about parenting is that you learn something new everyday. Take today for instance. I started off the day by learning what happens when you back your SUV over a tricycle. (Hint: the SUV won...but on the bright side, at least now I know what to get Lily for her upcoming birthday.)

I then proceeded to learn just how sneaky-fast those teenage black widows are when I tried to get rid of the one living IN OUR MAILBOX! I am pretty sure I got it...but there were no remains to be found and well, that leaves quite a bit of uncertainty now doesn't it? I suppose I'll send Kurt to get the mail tomorrow...or perhaps Aidan if he isn't following directions....(no, no, I'm just kidding, I wouldn't send Aidan...but do you think Kurt would get suspicious if I asked him to increase his life insurance policy before going for the mail?)

Then there was the brief learning moment when I had put Liam down on the floor so that I could get the dishes in the dishwasher. The kids were busy cleaning up after themselves (or something like that, maybe not EXACTLY that but I am sure they weren't running wildly around the house and making huge messes everywhere...I mean, I'd notice that right?) and I looked over to see Madeline come up to baby Liam and pull him...across the floor....BY HIS FEET! And I learned then and there that no matter what you say to a three year old about the danger of playing rough with a baby, if that baby is laughing his head off, she isn't going to hear a word you say.

And finally there was Lily, who found the eight DOZEN eggs in our fridge...and then thankfully decided to play with just one...

"Egg Mommy! Egg!" she said excitedly while climbing down out of the fridge. You could practically see the fun ideas spinning around in her head, that is until she dropped the egg. And the entire thing slid out of the shell, and down between the grill and the floor, leaving the egg yolk underneath the fridge.

"Uh-oh, Mommy!" she said sadly as she leaned down...to smash the shell!

Ever tried to clean up an egg yolk under the fridge? Neither had I until today and by the way, I don't suggest the salt trick...


With a "Lily Did it" Here and a "Lily Did it" There

Here a cluck, there a cluck, everywhere a cluck, cluck...

Aidan's story (changed from his earlier account in which, "Lily did it."): 

"Well, Madeline told us to take the Light Brite outside and she told us to bury it in the dirt and then it got broken."

Madeline's story (changed from her earlier account in which, "Lily did it."):

"Aidan took the Light Brite and put it in the bathroom with all the pieces and the bubbles and it drowned."

My story (sticking to my original account in which "I don't really care which chicken did it."):

"Aidan brought the Light Brite to the dining room and somehow the pieces ended up all over the floor. (That was quite unexpected of course...and apparently NONE of the kids did it.) When I told the kids to clean it up, they excitedly got right to work, happily humming a merry tune while I made cookies. As I was pulling them out of the oven (the cookies, not my children), I saw the kids out in the dirt. Realizing the Light Brite was missing, I quickly saw what was going on and told them to dig up all the pieces and put them in a bucket. After excavating the Light Brite and all the pegs, they quietly took everything into the bathroom, filled the sink with half water, half hand soap, creating an endless fountain of bubbles and attempted to wash the pieces and the machine. It was when I heard Aidan and Madeline talking about the beetle in the sink, that I looked in and saw what they were doing. And I certainly didn't overreact or raise my voice or anything like that...

The Light Brite met its untimely demise due to the mud in its interior. The pegs, half of which I believe went down the drain (because THAT won't become a problem later...), were nice and clean AND USELESS so they too, were thrown out. I still don't know who did it, and although she earns accomplice status based on the amount of dirt smeared all over her face and her inability to deny the accusations, I strongly doubt it was Lily. Oh, and the beetle drowned."

Old McKaren had a Farm...

Plucked Chicken, take 2

And just in case there was any question:

"Hey mom, you want to know Nakedman's secret identity?"

(Insert suppressed urge to crack up hysterically.) 

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It's ME! Aidan!" 

(So glad he clarified that one!) 


Plucked Chickens

First, he was Spiderman.

Next, he was Batman.

Now, watch out world, there's a new super-hero in town.....



Complete with a cape (a.k.a. hooded towel), Aidan comes running out nude yelling, "Look Mom! I'm Nakedman!"

(Think The Spectre, minus the pants...Ever seen a plucked chicken? It's THAT kind of funny...)

Really, need I write more?

But in case you were wondering, there is also a Nakedgirl (Madeline) who apparently is supposed to wear blue pants (kind of a misnomer there but not so much for Nakedman...let's just say he will NOT be wearing this costume, or lack there of, to school...)


Coyotes: Beware little Chickens

According to Backyard Chickens, here is a list of common chicken predators: Raccoons, Hawks, Foxes, Mountain Lions, Fisher Cats, Skunks, Mites and Coyotes.  

We have over half that list wandering through our yard and neighborhood regularly...watch out chickens (and small humans...)

We were driving home from school pick-ups today when I found myself contemplating the meaning of face painting and why the instructions would possibly say not to use the red, yellow and purple near the eyes or the blue and green near the mouth, or something like that... (Isn't that like giving someone a bar of soap and telling them not to use it under the arms or anywhere else you might find lymph nodes?) Aidan interrupted my thoughts:

"Mom, is God his dad?" he asks. 
"Whose dad?" I ask back.
"Is God, his own dad," he says. 
"Oh, you mean is God, God's dad?" 
"Yeah, is he his own dad? I mean, if he is everyone's father then he would be his own dad right?"  he asks. 

And here I was thinking about face paints....

But, like most parents of very-young-and-still-willing-to-speak-to-us children, we are used to these questions around here. Just a few days back, Madeline had asked a very long series of Coyote questions, most likely springing from the fact that when she wouldn't get in the car that morning, I had told her she needed to get out of the bushes and to the car right away.  

"Why?" she asked stubbornly.
"Because if you don't, the big coyote dad saw this morning might come eat you!" I had hollered back in one of my prouder parenting moments. She immediately got in the car. But about an hour later, the questions came spewing forth:

"Can a coyote swallow a bee?" she asked. (Yes)
"How about a mouse?" (Yes)
"Can a coyote swallow you?" she asked curiously. 
"No, I would be too big for it to swallow," I said.
"What about a mommy mouse?" she asked. (Yup)
"Can a coyote swallow AIDAN?" she really needed to know.
"No, it could bite Aidan but I don't think it could swallow Aidan whole," I explained.
"Oh, THEN he would need some band-aids," she said. "Poor Aidan."

But even at three, Madeline can ask some pretty hard-to-answer questions, like the ones she asked on the way to get Aidan from school.

"Mom, does God die?"
"No," I said, foolishly hoping that would be enough.
"Why not?"
"Because....because God is an always living spirit," I said, fumbling for the right words. 
"Are we always living spirits?" she asked.
"Well, kind of. Our spirits are but our bodies will die one day," I answered.
"Oh, that's sad not to have a body," she lamented. "Does Aidan have a body?"
"Yes," I said. 
"Where is it?" she asked.
"At school," I said as I watched her eyes widen in the rearview mirror.
"He keeps his body at school?!" she exclaimed.
"Only when he is at school," I explained.
"Well, can God get swallowed?"  
I was about to answer her when she continued:
"...by a coyote?"