Nothing about chickens...

We have this gene in our family (both sides of the family) that seems to give people the grand delusion that they know everything, and then some. So, last year or so I found the perfect birthday card for one of our family members that went something like this: On the front there was an old man and an old lady. The old man was pointing to a piece of land jutting out into the water and saying, "You see that land there? That's called a stick-out." And on the inside it said something along the lines of "You are finally at the age where you can make up all the answers." (Or something like that.) I thought it was funny anyway....

I regret to inform you that the Lily of yester-week is no longer with us. I went to get Lily out of bed the other day and HOLY TORPEDO! There was a TWO YEAR OLD MONSTER in her bed...and it had eaten Lily! I don't know what happened to the sweet, calm (ha ha) child that was Lily but the NEW Lily is out of control crazy!

This week alone I have had to incorporate my knee into the morning routine of getting a pull-up on her, an elbow to get her buckled into her car seat and an arm's distance for carting her into the time-out bathroom while she flings every part of her strong little body in my (and every other) direction. For sure, this is all par for the course (assuming you are playing the back nine through Dante's Inferno), but compared to our sweet, tiny Liam (whose blood work confirmed he is in fact just a Hobbit....related by some rare mutation to Bilbo Baggins himself....), she has gone totally mad.

Today I have had to:

1. Drag her out from UNDER THE TRUCK where she was half asleep and still somehow arguing that it was there she wanted to take her nap. (What child wants to take a nap under a car?)

2. Teach her how to use a Magic Eraser (God's gift to motherhood!) to scrub purple crayon off tile floors, wooden cabinetry, and marble countertops (Where the heck was I? Apparently NOT standing right next to her like I had thought!)

3. Explain to her that the towel racks in the bathroom are NOT called "Monkey Bars" nor are they meant to be hung on (Now I know how we have lost two of four toilet paper racks....and she actually used the term Monkey Bars: "Mai Jane, see da Monkey bars?" Swing, swing...)

And it doesn't stop there. Today she has also:

1. Spit her vitamin out all over the couch and then proceeded to lick it all off again (eww).

2. Took the new pack of bologna out of the refrigerator, opened it and very carefully placed each piece end to end on the kitchen floor (so much for mopping yesterday).

3. (after being told to try to keep her new undies dry) went outside, turned on the faucet and sat down in the middle of the running water (so much for potty training).

4. Swung on the master bedroom door by holding the door knobs on either side (and now I see how one got pulled out of the hinges) and lastly,

5. Readily admitted to having drawn on the side of the house in pink and blue chalk (Me: "Who painted on the house with the chalk?" Lily: "That MEEEE!" If only it were always so easy.)

She keeps me on my toes...And apparently I am not as fast as I used to be!

But, with her older siblings, she still shows an extreme amount of grace. During quiet time today, Madeline and Lily went back to their room and immediately Madeline started screaming at Lily:

"NO! DON'T GO IN MY ROOM! YOU'LL MESS IT UP!" she yelled.

"Okay," Lily said calmly, reminiscent of her former self. "Do you want to go into my room, Mai Jane?" Lily asked

"Sure," Madeline said. It's funny because, well, they share a room.

What about Aidan you might ask? Well, later this afternoon, Aidan was looking for the Sharpie marker and asked Madeline where it was.

"What's a sharpie?" she asked.

"It's a big marker that is very sharp," Aidan answered.

The apples just keep falling right under the tree...."Hey look, a stick-out!"