9.17.2008

Chase Rooster

Apparently, in the midst of the political "discussion" going on out there, some people have a little too much time on their hands. Here is a new site out: The Sarah Palin Name Generator-The idea is you plug in your name to see what she would have named you.

For the record, I do not advocate making fun of what people name their kids nor do I think the names Sarah Palin chose for hers are all that outrageous. True, some people name their kids absurd names, names that make you feel sorry for the kid come middle school; names that make you think there ought to be fines for such ridiculousness. But truly, baby naming is a personal issue and in all but the few irresponsible cases (like the parent who named their kid Abcdef) I believe it is important to go in with a loving and non-judgemental heart. But I, like George, was curious. So I stuck in my name and those of my kids and I was pleasantly surprised because I got me a chicken! Liam came up as Chase Rooster! Truly ironic...really. (And who has too much time on their hands?)

Speaking of Chase Rooster, recently he has had a serious of tests done to try to figure out why he isn't growing (he has gotten so far below the normal curve, we are wondering if he is possibly just an elf.) Today he had to have a sweat chloride test done to rule out Cystic Fibrosis. It is a bizarre test. First, they hooked these little electrode thingys (the medical term for sure) up to his arms to make them sweat. Then they taped on this other contraption to the sweat which contained tightly coiled ultra-tiny tubing (think angel hair pasta) and dye. Finally, I was given the instruction to get him hot and sweaty over the course of the next 45 minutes so they could collect a sweat sample.

Ok, so when was the last time you tried making an infant sweat? Seriously now....trying to obtain the proper stool sample a few days ago was one thing (at least that comes pretty naturally and there's a diaper to catch it!) but this? It's not like I can say, "Ok Chase Rooster, now make it count! Crawl 10 laps around this room and then give me 10 push-ups..." Well, I could say it, but he'd just give me his I-will-melt-your-heart-with-my- toothless-grin look and with a little luck, maybe flap his arms. So, out we went to sit in the hot car. That was super fun...especially when Liam started crying and I, sweat rolling down my face, was like, "Good job Liam! Make it count!" I imagine the little old lady in the car next to me was probably texting Child Services while adjusting her oxygen mask.

When we got back to the lab, the tech said, "Just so you know, we rarely get enough sweat from a baby for the test to be conclusive." (Gee, really?) "We have run about 40 of these tests in the year and a half I have worked here and none of them have been positive for CF." That was one of those moments like in a football game when the announcer says, "An interesting stat: this kicker hasn't missed a field goal attempt in the last 150 games." And then after the kick: "Oh wow! I can't believe it! He missed the game deciding kick! How about that?" Well duh, you just jinxed him two minutes ago. I hadn't felt the least bit worried until that moment.

But, we were lucky, our little champ gave them enough sweat (all of two tiny blue droplets carefully squeezed out of the tubing) to run the test. And we were blessed: the test came back negative.

And that folks, wraps up our grace filled day. Now it's time for me to take Tangle Jig back to her bed so that Luger Otter and I, Khaki Salmon, can retire for the night. :)

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