I realize, while my last post was authentic to the core, it did not cast me in a favorable light. But how many of you have felt that exact same way? How many times have you wished you could tell the inconsiderate or dangerous driver in the other car exactly what you thought? And be honest, haven't you ever thought, "If only I could ram them, just a little!" Or is it just me? (Road rage anyone?)
Turns out, the lady I chastised yesterday may have been the wife of the Swim Meet Director.
Still, even had I known that from the beginning, it would have been tough to overcome that more aggressive part of my inner being. (She-wolf has a tendency to say what she thinks and while 'rude' was probably not the best choice of words--inconsiderate, now that would have been better--it was the only thing that came to mind in the moment.)
At any rate, I realize that the anger I felt was not the passionate anger of Jesus as he overturned the temple tables. It wasn't about justice for all or speaking as a voice for the outcasted, oppressed and marginalized. It was really all about the inconvenience I felt (and I am sure the cars behind me felt) at having to wait for someone who had been a little on the thoughtless side.
Nonetheless, even though I couldn't control her behavior, I should have had better reins on mine. I should have acted with grace and forgiveness, modeling loving Christian behavior to my children. After all, the cloak of Self-Righteousness looks good on no one. And truth be told, most of us have been on the other side of that conversation in one way or another. But Bratty Inner Child, still completely convinced that the other woman was in the wrong, struggles with the lessons of Aunt Prudence. Why is rising above our own immaturity so difficult sometimes?
As it turns out, if we were all perfect, we wouldn't need grace. And the more comfortable we become with the grace we have been offered, the better able we are to offer it to others (even in the most difficult of moments). And sometimes it takes practicing grace in our own lives to accept it for ourselves. And that is worth the effort.
Sorry inconsiderate lady. I shouldn't have called you rude.
(Even though it was....) BE QUIET INNER CHILD!
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