11.27.2012

Bye-Bye Bikini

We wandered through the summertime, And drifted into fall
We never thought of winter at all. How foolishly we tossed away
The buttercups, the time -Who'd have thought
We'd have no more songs to sing, Hills to climb?

We summered in each other's arms, And slumbered in the glow
We never heard the whisper of snow. But summer's not forevermore
No matter how we tried -The trouble with hello is goodbye
--The Trouble with Hello is Goodbye, Sergio Mendes (1975).....also June Christy (1977)

Ok, so now is a good time to stick your finger down your throat and GAG! But if you liked the cheesy music in the 70s, feel free to look that one up on your own and reminisce at your own leisure.

At any rate, a friend reminded me today (speaking of clothing) that if you don't absolutely love something or haven't worn it in a while (try a decade!) then get rid of it.

I'd like to tell you, dear readers, that I am the master of this, that I get rid of anything I haven't worn in a year, that my closet is almost bare because I don't hang on to anything past its fashionable expiration date. But then, I would be totally full of it. And my hubs would call me out on it in front of you, skeletons would fall from the closet and a huge internet scandal would erupt....or not.

But today, a friend handed down a pair of jeans she no longer loves, which I am gratefully wearing as I type, and so I went into my closet to see what I could maybe part with when what to my wondering eyes did appear but a miniature swimsuit and not from this year! Actually, not from this decade. Actually, not from this millennia if you really must know.

You see, I always thought that after having kids I would be one of those lucky ones who could get back in shape and squeeze my way back into my beloved bikinis, which by the way are still super cute even 15 years later. (Just not on me!) Alas, here I am, almost ten years since having that first child and no matter how much I work out (which is all the darn time), no matter how fit I keep myself (my resting heart rate is 45 bpm while rocking a kid, if that counts for anything), and no matter how much I use my Jedi mind tricks and Superwoman powers to will it to be, it simply ain't happening folks! Having kids has simply changed me. I mean, the shell of my former self is still here but whoa.....While bacon certainly transforms turkey into something close to divine, it doesn't crisp up the skin on turkeys or graceful chickens.....They say kids change you, ya know. I suppose it just takes some of us a while to really accept that change for ourselves.

So, here I am, with three super fun bikinis that, truth be told, even if I did feel comfy in, I wouldn't wear them in public ever again now that I am older and have more modest tastes, to say the least. (And I am certainly not going to wear random bikinis around the house, I mean, who does that? Crazy moms, that's who!)

And so, I just wanted to share with you a parting of the ways and tell you that I am putting these in the donation pile that will go out in the morning....

Because if I post it here, then it must be so.

And so I am going to do that now. Any moment.

I am going to just give them up for good......embrace the changed me.....embark on the path toward maturity and a lighter closet, one free of last-lifetime's stuff.....really, I am.

Ok, tomorrow....I'll do it tomorrow.....

No matter how we tried -The trouble with hello is goodbye.....

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