"You do not know what you are doing to me...now, STOP TURNING PAGES!" -Grover in The Monster at the End of This Book
All right, which one of you failed to knock on the wood like I requested?! Seriously. The only thing I can say is:
BUG, BUG GO AWAY! And DON'T COME BACK SOME OTHER DAY! And OUR FAMILY DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY.....you get the drift.
Aidan and Kurt were down Monday with what seemed like a very mild performance from our pesky old friend. And no sooner did I write that last sentence than Lily was back in the bathroom needing help cleaning up both ends (as well as the floor and toilet and...) Argh. I can only imagine that the rest is coming. Thus, I have given up the whole superstitious stuff for now and have gone ahead and spoken with thy Holy One upstairs about perhaps visiting another family for His entertainment for a while.
And He said (insert voice of James Earl Jones): "Ha, Ha, Ha, As if!"
And I think I heard Him mumble something about 'what's with all the superstition mumbo jumbo' but then, I was bathing in the last of the Clorox Clean-up so might have misunderstood. And here I was praying for at least partial immunity when I heard of that last plague going around (see former post on The Plague.) In all due respect God, seems like I might as well have been praying for Oreos to rain down from the heavens! (Just guessing, but that's not going to happen either, is it?)
Speaking of heaven, I have come up with another ingenious idea: The Stomach Bug Apron (Ok, so I might need to tweak its name for marketing purposes...how about The Hot Zone Helper? Any better?)
But get this. It would be a full size apron (maybe more like a latex body suit complete with face mask and surgical shoe covers but that is yet to be determined) and would be kind of like the cargo pants of the apron world: a place to hang the bleach spray bottle, another for backup (the Lysol bottle), several pockets for housing rags, gloves and plastic bags, a simple paper towel holder and maybe a special place for a jar of valium and a few phenergan suppositories while we're at it....Comes with an inflatable Biohazard Protection Suit able to withstand Biosafety Level 4...
And if you order now, I will double the offer! That's right, now you can get TWO Hot Zone Helpers for only $19.95. (Must be 18 or older to order. Some restrictions may apply.)
In all seriousness though, did you hear that laughter just now?
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