The sun was out, the day was warm(ish) and in a great wave of compassion for our lazy cat who had been following the sunlight around all day in front of the windows, I let him out. Letting the inner-Libertarian shine through a little, I figured if he wanted to take the risk of getting eaten by coyotes, well then, who was I to stop him. Let him make his own choices for crying out loud…..
At any rate, he was prowling way out yonder, when the kids decided to go chase him down. I watched from the back porch as Lily snuck up behind Leroy and then yelled over her shoulder:
"Hey Mom! Leroy is pointing like he found something!"
"That's because he is part dog," I shouted back at her.
"REALLY?????" she yelled.
"Yeah, he's part Ridgeback, part Pointer and half cat," I said, laughing.
"Seriously, Mom?" she asked, only now with a hint of skepticism.
"NO LILY! Our cat is not. part. dog!" I said emphatically.
"Oh!" and off she went, giggling at herself.
The next day I overheard Lily telling the neighbor kids that our cat was part dog and that is why he is such a great hunter (you know, like a cat…..) Their mom gave me a quizzical look. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Kids."
3.09.2014
3.02.2014
Why Everyone Needs a Friend Who Has a Pet Leech
Before I begin, I just have to say, this whole moving to Mars thing has really given me a new perspective. About everything. I can't quite tell if people living in the suburbs are living in an entirely false bubble that will one day pop, allowing the real world to ooze in around, or if I have walked onto the movie set of a flick that I am pretty sure will go straight to reality TV; I can't say just yet. But my eyes are wide open. (Mostly because I need to duck in case of stray bullets from illegal hunting…. No, seriously. Please recall the place down the street where we oft see a guy jump out of his vehicle in full camouflage and a rifle over his shoulder; to which Solomon excitedly exclaimed the first time: "Hey, Look! My Friend!"……"Why is he your friend Solly?"….."Because he has a pewer!"…..I am pretty sure he rolled his three year old eyes at me and murmured "duh" too. So apparently, where we were worried about Liam's potential for someday walking off with some stranger because the entire world is his playmate….no, not THAT kind of playmate, sheesh!….we will have to keep an even closer watch on Solly who apparently has at least two expectations of his friends: Ammo and Camo.)
At any rate, I have made two friends here. And really, they are the same two friends I seem to make everywhere I go before filling in the space in between these two extremes. (Please excuse my overgeneralizing and for those of you who know me, feel free to try and figure out where you fit in.)
The first is a neighbor; an exceedingly smart (majored in math at an Ivy League) stay at home mother of two children, who, from what I can gather, will be my responsible friend; the one who will make me laugh with her dry, witty humor, and who will laugh with/at me (and my folly) yet will also help me clean up the messes. Because she realizes she will be considered an accomplice otherwise. And her good record is so far unblemished. But I love her anyway. And bonus! She has agreed to walk with me once a week because apparently it is very, very lonely out in the country and I will just have to do. (She happens to have the same name as my last friend who fit this role so it has been a VERY easy transition from that standpoint.)
The second friend is like looking into a mirror….if that mirror reflected the me that would have existed if I hadn't married someone who was a little more like friend number one: responsible and somewhat normal. (Yes, I just called Kurt normal. Just roll with it here.)
You see, friend number two is like me outfitted with a hyper-drive (yes, it is possible to be more hyper than I already am…..I am guessing if you gave me some sort of illegal stimulant, and then doused me in caffeine and lit me on fire, then you would come close to the energy level of this friend.) She lives in a little tiny farm house on 100 acres with her three kids. And she has a scrap yard. (With a big metal cow out front.) And drives a dump truck. (Which she has promised to let me drive as soon as the snow melts. Watch out Mars!) And she loves God as if He were her best friend (and perhaps weekend drinking buddy) so I am pretty sure this is my in y'all!
Her house is like a museum of artifacts from the late 70s and early 80s: think Fisher Price as it used to be, with the big red barn, the yellow house that opened in the middle, the airplane, the choking hazard people with which our parents used to knowingly let us tempt fate each and every day. She has every lunchbox, metal and otherwise, that I owned as a child. Some would say she is a wee bit of a hoarder, I call her a brilliant historian and an innovative business woman! (Hey, that junk relocation thing she's got going is a HUGE success in the summer time!)
So we were getting ready to make lunch for the kids the other day (venison that she may or may not have accidentally killed and then processed in her own yard with or without a permit) and mac-n-cheese, when I caught site of a bowl of water on the windowsill.
"That's my pet leech," she said plainly. "I think it is dead though." I looked closer and saw that it was belly up and obviously not showing the least bit of interest in the struggling fly floating on top. Then it occurred to me that leeches probably don't eat flies and that all I really know about leeches I learned from that one memorable scene in Stand By Me. Oh and whatever little bit we learned about ancient medicine in elementary Social Studies, at least, I think we did as I probably wasn't paying much attention.
"Really? You never told me you had a pet leech!" I said, brimming with excitement. "What do you feed him?"
Seeing that I was truly interested, she lively told me all about this particular leech that she "had never seen laying on his back like that" so she was pretty certain he must have died. But she was keeping him a little longer to make sure. Because that's what caring people do, Kurt! Stop judging us!
"I have had this one since September and he has survived on a mix of fish food and turtle food and an occasional slab of raw meat," she said. "I got him out there in our pond." I made a mental note not to go swimming in her pond, but to consider throwing in one of the kids if they ever cross that line…..
"And this, my new friend, is why I TOTALLY LOVE YOU ALREADY!" I said. "Have I told you about how I almost had a pet vole?" After sharing with her my story of woe (thanks to my exceedingly rational husband who doesn't understand the life lessons our kids would benefit from by learning to take care of, um, something more needy than themselves, like voles and leeches, you know, nature) and upon getting to the part where Kurt said I couldn't bring it home, she simply nodded in understanding and then asked, "Did you take it home anyway?" I will have to just stop here and admit that she is no longer married and I can only imagine that perhaps that is the difference in our fates: I, albeit begrudgingly, will walk away from my crazier ideas knowing that some of them may cause irreparable harm to other adult-types in the house….like the time (yesterday) I almost bought a peacock….and it almost gave Kurt a heart attack….
Anyway, after talking leeches she took me on a show and tell adventure where I learned all about her Death Tree, that is, the tree they hang their dead animal finds on during the year, kinda like a really morbid Christmas Tree, if Christmas was all about death instead of birth. (Not the tree you want to happen upon while lost outside on a dark and stormy night, might I add.) You see, you can't just leave the dead critters on the ground because they will rot. By hanging them from the branches of the tree, they will simply dry out and then you can put them in your display case (yes, she has a display case that is, at once, totally awesome and completely incredible….incredible in the way a Southern Belle might describe a gruesome train wreck anyway.) It has one of the most well preserved, taxidermied (which according to my computer should actually say taxidermic but I don't trust my computer because I am pretty sure he is just angry that I allowed Solomon to damage him with a screw driver earlier today….like it is MY FAULT that three year old is a destructive beast who searches out ways to give me headaches every possible waking moment, wait, where was I?) oh yeah, the most incredible taxidermied turtle I have ever seen, a small snake frozen in a stretched out crawling position like it died choking on a candy bar mid-stroll, a jar with three different deer fetuses in various stages of pre-birth doing some sort of sad, shoulda-woulda-coulda dance, almost like the deer version of The Three Graces only grosser and less artsy, various bones, a dried gator head (bought at a flea market because obviously she didn't find THAT in her pond), a really cool Great Blue Heron skull (which you totally can tell exactly what it is when you see it which makes me feel like my mom's persistent and unintentional bird identification lessons really paid off) and so on and so forth.
She is the type of friend that, when it was time to go, sent Liam off with a little bug catcher filled with leaves and a dead wooly caterpillar, because it was only fair that Liam had something to play with since Solly was going home with a broken toy car that had Woody at the steering wheel. You know, dead Woody, dead Wooly, same difference.
And that is why I love my husband so much: because he has made it possible for me to finally have a friend who is as screwy as I am; one who is not afraid to be herself, pet leeches and all.
Thanks sweetheart! (Please remember that moving was your idea, not mine!)
At any rate, I have made two friends here. And really, they are the same two friends I seem to make everywhere I go before filling in the space in between these two extremes. (Please excuse my overgeneralizing and for those of you who know me, feel free to try and figure out where you fit in.)
The first is a neighbor; an exceedingly smart (majored in math at an Ivy League) stay at home mother of two children, who, from what I can gather, will be my responsible friend; the one who will make me laugh with her dry, witty humor, and who will laugh with/at me (and my folly) yet will also help me clean up the messes. Because she realizes she will be considered an accomplice otherwise. And her good record is so far unblemished. But I love her anyway. And bonus! She has agreed to walk with me once a week because apparently it is very, very lonely out in the country and I will just have to do. (She happens to have the same name as my last friend who fit this role so it has been a VERY easy transition from that standpoint.)
The second friend is like looking into a mirror….if that mirror reflected the me that would have existed if I hadn't married someone who was a little more like friend number one: responsible and somewhat normal. (Yes, I just called Kurt normal. Just roll with it here.)
You see, friend number two is like me outfitted with a hyper-drive (yes, it is possible to be more hyper than I already am…..I am guessing if you gave me some sort of illegal stimulant, and then doused me in caffeine and lit me on fire, then you would come close to the energy level of this friend.) She lives in a little tiny farm house on 100 acres with her three kids. And she has a scrap yard. (With a big metal cow out front.) And drives a dump truck. (Which she has promised to let me drive as soon as the snow melts. Watch out Mars!) And she loves God as if He were her best friend (and perhaps weekend drinking buddy) so I am pretty sure this is my in y'all!
Her house is like a museum of artifacts from the late 70s and early 80s: think Fisher Price as it used to be, with the big red barn, the yellow house that opened in the middle, the airplane, the choking hazard people with which our parents used to knowingly let us tempt fate each and every day. She has every lunchbox, metal and otherwise, that I owned as a child. Some would say she is a wee bit of a hoarder, I call her a brilliant historian and an innovative business woman! (Hey, that junk relocation thing she's got going is a HUGE success in the summer time!)
So we were getting ready to make lunch for the kids the other day (venison that she may or may not have accidentally killed and then processed in her own yard with or without a permit) and mac-n-cheese, when I caught site of a bowl of water on the windowsill.
"That's my pet leech," she said plainly. "I think it is dead though." I looked closer and saw that it was belly up and obviously not showing the least bit of interest in the struggling fly floating on top. Then it occurred to me that leeches probably don't eat flies and that all I really know about leeches I learned from that one memorable scene in Stand By Me. Oh and whatever little bit we learned about ancient medicine in elementary Social Studies, at least, I think we did as I probably wasn't paying much attention.
"Really? You never told me you had a pet leech!" I said, brimming with excitement. "What do you feed him?"
Seeing that I was truly interested, she lively told me all about this particular leech that she "had never seen laying on his back like that" so she was pretty certain he must have died. But she was keeping him a little longer to make sure. Because that's what caring people do, Kurt! Stop judging us!
"I have had this one since September and he has survived on a mix of fish food and turtle food and an occasional slab of raw meat," she said. "I got him out there in our pond." I made a mental note not to go swimming in her pond, but to consider throwing in one of the kids if they ever cross that line…..
"And this, my new friend, is why I TOTALLY LOVE YOU ALREADY!" I said. "Have I told you about how I almost had a pet vole?" After sharing with her my story of woe (thanks to my exceedingly rational husband who doesn't understand the life lessons our kids would benefit from by learning to take care of, um, something more needy than themselves, like voles and leeches, you know, nature) and upon getting to the part where Kurt said I couldn't bring it home, she simply nodded in understanding and then asked, "Did you take it home anyway?" I will have to just stop here and admit that she is no longer married and I can only imagine that perhaps that is the difference in our fates: I, albeit begrudgingly, will walk away from my crazier ideas knowing that some of them may cause irreparable harm to other adult-types in the house….like the time (yesterday) I almost bought a peacock….and it almost gave Kurt a heart attack….
Anyway, after talking leeches she took me on a show and tell adventure where I learned all about her Death Tree, that is, the tree they hang their dead animal finds on during the year, kinda like a really morbid Christmas Tree, if Christmas was all about death instead of birth. (Not the tree you want to happen upon while lost outside on a dark and stormy night, might I add.) You see, you can't just leave the dead critters on the ground because they will rot. By hanging them from the branches of the tree, they will simply dry out and then you can put them in your display case (yes, she has a display case that is, at once, totally awesome and completely incredible….incredible in the way a Southern Belle might describe a gruesome train wreck anyway.) It has one of the most well preserved, taxidermied (which according to my computer should actually say taxidermic but I don't trust my computer because I am pretty sure he is just angry that I allowed Solomon to damage him with a screw driver earlier today….like it is MY FAULT that three year old is a destructive beast who searches out ways to give me headaches every possible waking moment, wait, where was I?) oh yeah, the most incredible taxidermied turtle I have ever seen, a small snake frozen in a stretched out crawling position like it died choking on a candy bar mid-stroll, a jar with three different deer fetuses in various stages of pre-birth doing some sort of sad, shoulda-woulda-coulda dance, almost like the deer version of The Three Graces only grosser and less artsy, various bones, a dried gator head (bought at a flea market because obviously she didn't find THAT in her pond), a really cool Great Blue Heron skull (which you totally can tell exactly what it is when you see it which makes me feel like my mom's persistent and unintentional bird identification lessons really paid off) and so on and so forth.
She is the type of friend that, when it was time to go, sent Liam off with a little bug catcher filled with leaves and a dead wooly caterpillar, because it was only fair that Liam had something to play with since Solly was going home with a broken toy car that had Woody at the steering wheel. You know, dead Woody, dead Wooly, same difference.
And that is why I love my husband so much: because he has made it possible for me to finally have a friend who is as screwy as I am; one who is not afraid to be herself, pet leeches and all.
Thanks sweetheart! (Please remember that moving was your idea, not mine!)
3.01.2014
Poultry Conversations
Recently, we (and by 'we' I mean 'I') have been looking into chicken stuff: coops, supplies, feed, pullets, etc. in order to be ready for our spring chickens which I, er, we will order soon. I We have been searching both in person (at local farm stores), in the Horse Trader newspaper, and online via Craigslist to try to get the best deals. As we were browsing online today, we ran across this ad for peacocks obviously MEANT FOR ME (I mean us) listed in our local Craigslist:
***Beautiful Male and Female, Hatched last summer, so only about 9 months old. Very tame, and they don't leave the property, you might have to cage them for a while till they get used to there new surroundings. They eat right out of your hand. $125 each or $225 for both. Call John…..***
Along with the incorrect use of the word there, it had several pictures of beautiful peacocks just ready and waiting for us to come and get them. So I immediately emailed Kurt:
Me: Hope you don't mind, we bought one of these for our yard (and I included the above link).
Kurt: Heh, good thing I know you're kidding, otherwise I'd have a stroke.
Me: Note to self, take back male peacock.
Me: You know you kind of owe me a peacock, I practically moved to your home town and this guy will at least make it feel more like home to me.
Me (figuring he was seriously contemplating since I hadn't heard from him in several minutes at least): Plus, I hear peacocks make a good impression on your neighbors. :)
Kurt: Um…..no
KILLJOY! Obviously he does not understanding the mutual support and compromise that is supposed to take place in a relationship. I mean, whatever happened with "for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, with chickens and peacocks, so long as we both shall live"???
Maybe we will get lucky and a stray peacock will somehow miraculously find its way into our yard and find a nice big peacock meal waiting for him…..I should probably add peacock food to my list, just in case…..
Addendum: About 30 minutes after this email conversation I get a call from Kurt that went like this:
Me: Hello?
Kurt (not even bothering with hello): You were kidding right?
Me (after almost hyperventilating from laughing so hard): Hee hee, yes …… (by which I mean, sure, let's go with that, and we'll pretend I don't pray everyday for a stray to accidentally show up…..)
***Beautiful Male and Female, Hatched last summer, so only about 9 months old. Very tame, and they don't leave the property, you might have to cage them for a while till they get used to there new surroundings. They eat right out of your hand. $125 each or $225 for both. Call John…..***
Along with the incorrect use of the word there, it had several pictures of beautiful peacocks just ready and waiting for us to come and get them. So I immediately emailed Kurt:
Me: Hope you don't mind, we bought one of these for our yard (and I included the above link).
Kurt: Heh, good thing I know you're kidding, otherwise I'd have a stroke.
Me: Note to self, take back male peacock.
Me: You know you kind of owe me a peacock, I practically moved to your home town and this guy will at least make it feel more like home to me.
Me (figuring he was seriously contemplating since I hadn't heard from him in several minutes at least): Plus, I hear peacocks make a good impression on your neighbors. :)
Kurt: Um…..no
KILLJOY! Obviously he does not understanding the mutual support and compromise that is supposed to take place in a relationship. I mean, whatever happened with "for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, with chickens and peacocks, so long as we both shall live"???
Maybe we will get lucky and a stray peacock will somehow miraculously find its way into our yard and find a nice big peacock meal waiting for him…..I should probably add peacock food to my list, just in case…..
Addendum: About 30 minutes after this email conversation I get a call from Kurt that went like this:
Me: Hello?
Kurt (not even bothering with hello): You were kidding right?
Me (after almost hyperventilating from laughing so hard): Hee hee, yes …… (by which I mean, sure, let's go with that, and we'll pretend I don't pray everyday for a stray to accidentally show up…..)
2.20.2014
The One Where the Running Ceased
Sometimes, when I allow myself to wander in thought, I think about the fact that at some point, (hopefully a point far, far away) I will go on my very last run and that will be that. I sometimes wonder if it will be an intentional last run, like a last big hurrah before I take to more gentle forms of exercise; or if it will be an abrupt and unexpected ending, one that I would rather not even imagine. (In case you are wondering, I try not to let my thoughts wander too frequently!)
At any rate, these were my thoughts as I was finishing up a fifteen mile training run on my treadmill two days ago when Kurt came in to chat. He hadn't been in the room for more than a minute when we heard a snapping noise and my treadmill came to an abrupt halt, leaving me stranded half a mile short of my goal in the midst of an obnoxious burning aroma. (Point: Abrupt and Unexpected.)
There were shouts of gladness and joy all around. We were filled with such delight. You know, like the delight a sweet little deer must feel the moment she realizes that following those two pretty glowing lights is a five thousand pound killing machine! "Oh, yippee! Look at De-light! De-light!" BAM!
If you have been following along, our first two months in Mars have been full of insanity: septic alarms going off, pipes bursting, flooded rooms, electrical shorts, phone problems galore, spotty internet, locked out email, dead car batteries (did I not mention that one?), overflowing toilets, and the list goes on and on. We have had so many technicians/specialists out that I am beginning to think we ought to just hire them on full time. So when the treadmill broke, well, I'd call it a last straw but as it turns out, it wasn't. It was just one more needle we didn't want to find in the hay stack but got stuck with anyway.
So, for those of you who want to know how we like Mars so far…..it's simply delightful. Truly.
(Venison, anyone?)
(Venison, anyone?)
2.05.2014
Conversations from Mars
Lily: Mom, when you were little, did people have cars?
Me: What?
Lily: Were there cars when you were little or did people use wagons and horses and stuff?
Me: Seriously?
So I just chalked that one up to her being 7 but then not two days later this conversation took place between me and my almost eleven year old:
Me: Hey Aidan, I really like those jeans. They look really good on you.
Aidan: Thanks. This is the first time I have worn them because my favorite ones are dirty.
Me: Well, I think those look better than the other ones, more like a teenager.
Aidan (flushing): Mo-om, that's just because you are from the nineteen…..fifties?
Me: Uh, I assure you I am not from the 1950s! Try again.
Aidan: Oh, I mean the…. 60s?
Me: Seriously? Try some math!
Aidan: Oh, no, you grew up in the 70s, er 80s, yeah the 80s.
I think it might be time to start wearing make-up……or get my kids math and history tutors….
****
Three year old Solomon walked up to me while I was doing dishes and pulled on my arm with a serious expression on his face. I got down on one knee to see what he had to say.
Solomon: Mom, can I buy one?
Me: Buy what Solly?
Solomon: Buy a little bass guitar so I can play?
Me: Um, I don't think they make bass guitars that small, Solly.
Solomon: Yes, they do. I can put it right here on my tummy and play it (he says patting his belly with both hands).
*****
Aidan was being a know-it-all one morning as we waited for the girls' school to open so they could go in. After a long lecture on Latin vocabulary, Madeline, in all seriousness, says: "Wow, Aidan….You've sure got some brains!"
That's one way of putting it.
*****
Liam: What date is it tomorrow?
Kurt: January 30th.
Liam: What is the next day?
Kurt: January 31st. And what day is that?
Liam, impatiently: My birthday. But what day is after that?
Kurt: February 1st.
Liam (getting more excited): And then what day is it?
Kurt: February 2nd.
Liam: And do you know what day that is? It's the SUPER BOWL! Yay! Yay! Yaaaaaaaay!
(You know a kid is obsessed over sports when the "big game" is far more exciting than his birthday!)
******
More often than not, as we are driving in Mars, we see deer, lots and lots of deer; so many deer that I am beginning to think there are more deer than people around here. At any rate, whenever I see them I point and say, "DEER!" and all the kids excitedly look, as if it were the first time they ever saw one. (Or something like that.)
The other day as we were driving, I pointed at a big herd of deer:
Me: Hey, look at that kids!
Liam (shouting): Wow! Camels!
Me: Close enough.
Fast forward to the next day….we were driving to school and were about to pass a runner on the side of the road when Madeline shouts, "Human!"
Exactly.
Me: What?
Lily: Were there cars when you were little or did people use wagons and horses and stuff?
Me: Seriously?
So I just chalked that one up to her being 7 but then not two days later this conversation took place between me and my almost eleven year old:
Me: Hey Aidan, I really like those jeans. They look really good on you.
Aidan: Thanks. This is the first time I have worn them because my favorite ones are dirty.
Me: Well, I think those look better than the other ones, more like a teenager.
Aidan (flushing): Mo-om, that's just because you are from the nineteen…..fifties?
Me: Uh, I assure you I am not from the 1950s! Try again.
Aidan: Oh, I mean the…. 60s?
Me: Seriously? Try some math!
Aidan: Oh, no, you grew up in the 70s, er 80s, yeah the 80s.
I think it might be time to start wearing make-up……or get my kids math and history tutors….
****
Three year old Solomon walked up to me while I was doing dishes and pulled on my arm with a serious expression on his face. I got down on one knee to see what he had to say.
Solomon: Mom, can I buy one?
Me: Buy what Solly?
Solomon: Buy a little bass guitar so I can play?
Me: Um, I don't think they make bass guitars that small, Solly.
Solomon: Yes, they do. I can put it right here on my tummy and play it (he says patting his belly with both hands).
*****
Aidan was being a know-it-all one morning as we waited for the girls' school to open so they could go in. After a long lecture on Latin vocabulary, Madeline, in all seriousness, says: "Wow, Aidan….You've sure got some brains!"
That's one way of putting it.
*****
Liam: What date is it tomorrow?
Kurt: January 30th.
Liam: What is the next day?
Kurt: January 31st. And what day is that?
Liam, impatiently: My birthday. But what day is after that?
Kurt: February 1st.
Liam (getting more excited): And then what day is it?
Kurt: February 2nd.
Liam: And do you know what day that is? It's the SUPER BOWL! Yay! Yay! Yaaaaaaaay!
(You know a kid is obsessed over sports when the "big game" is far more exciting than his birthday!)
******
More often than not, as we are driving in Mars, we see deer, lots and lots of deer; so many deer that I am beginning to think there are more deer than people around here. At any rate, whenever I see them I point and say, "DEER!" and all the kids excitedly look, as if it were the first time they ever saw one. (Or something like that.)
The other day as we were driving, I pointed at a big herd of deer:
Me: Hey, look at that kids!
Liam (shouting): Wow! Camels!
Me: Close enough.
Fast forward to the next day….we were driving to school and were about to pass a runner on the side of the road when Madeline shouts, "Human!"
Exactly.
2.01.2014
The Day Faith Died
In the beginning, there was change. Enough changed to abundance. Suburban life changed to country living. The frenetic pace of yesteryear relaxed. Even time seemed to slow down. The change was exciting. And intense. And, at times, stressful. But it was good. Mostly.
Then last week happened.
After a week of no dial tone, our home phone was finally back up and running. After finding out how ruthless and unforgiving tile can really be and after having two new phones stop working thereafter, (because that is how modern advances work in our house…..not very well) Kurt finally had a working cell phone. Things were finally looking up. Kind of.
On Thursday, as I was preparing to make breakfast for the five kids and get them out the door to school, the electricity in half the kitchen failed. (Don't worry, it was only the half that starts things like the coffee maker, toaster oven, stove top, microwave….um, everything but the overhead lights to be exact.) So, we skipped the eggs and oatmeal and had cold cereal and fruit instead. No big deal.
Later that day, our IT guy came over to help Kurt with his computer/phone set up. It was at that point that Kurt's new cell phone stopped working. He was so, so pleased. You could tell by the joy and triumph in his eyes and the extreme calm in his tone of voice…..
At any rate, I dropped Liam off at school mid-day and went out to run some errands. Solly and I were just finishing up at Target when Kurt called: "The Septic Alarm is going off, I do not have time for this, please call the Septic people." He gave me the name of our Water Guy and I pulled over to Google the number on my phone.
I arranged for Water Guy to come out, because who knew he was different than Septic Guy (I suppose this is a good separation.) Then Solly and I went to Staples. I was derailed when Solly announced he needed to go to the potty. (Oh, did I mention this was the week we decided to potty train Solly?) What he meant was he had already gone and after stripping him down in the restroom I realized I had grabbed the wrong diaper that morning and he had been wearing a swim diaper. Now, if he had been swimming then I am certain this would have sufficed. But if you know anything about diapers you know that swim diapers are not meant for actually holding anything of the liquid variety….. It was while realizing I had no extra diapers on me and Solly was naked because his britches were doused in urine, that Kurt called again to tell me to call off Water Guy (wrong guy) and call his mom who should have the info I needed to call the right guy.
Leaving Solomon standing there naked in the bathroom stall, I called Water Guy (again) who happens to know Septic Guy (for the record, I would so rather be referred to as Water Guy than Septic Guy, you know, if I had the choice) and then I packed Solly up in his wet clothes and quickly get him to the car (in negative 3 degree weather…) so that I could get ahold of Septic Guy.
When I got home, Septic Guy had me check the alarms out. Apparently we have two. After he explained to me how to silence the alarm, the conversation went like this:
SG: Which alarm is going off; it should say on the box.
Me: Um, I believe it says Sand Filter.
SG: Oh great! (He sounds relieved.) Well, not great but that's okay. Well, not okay but….
Me: Not okay-okay but okay for now, I got it.
SG: Yes, let me call you back and come on over in a couple days to check things out. I can't do anything right now but don't worry, nothing bad will happen. And if you don't hear from me, try me again next week. (This is really reassuring…..)
When I got home, Kurt was gone to replace his phone, again, and IT Guy was working on the computers. Electrician had fortunately been to the house about some other issue and was able to fix the kitchen short. All was well……
But later that night, Faith died. (Faith was Lily's fish, you know, the one that replaced Spikey, the Dragon. Seriously, the kid can't catch a break.)
There was eating and there was sleeping, oh, and a brief moment of grieving before the big flush. This was Day 1.
On Friday, all began well. Electricity was working, septic alarm was silently on but there were no problems, all phones were working. Then we head to the bank and Kurt spends several useless hours in which the bank can't get Kurt's business accounts transferred over because of a bunch of stuff that doesn't make sense to anyone but the bank, and really, maybe not to them either. He was very, very delighted and overjoyed with yet another issue to deal with. (Please insert sarcasm at will if you have not done so already.)
Later, after a series of bad phone calls (from what I can gather) we hear Kurt say that he cannot handle one more thing. (More or less.) The kids and I stay quiet in the attic watching a show until Kurt is ready to join us.
Aidan takes the night off of swimming so that we can just relax, order Chinese Take-Out and watch a movie as a family. We need a break.
There was some running and eating and sleeping (and perhaps some choice words here and there).
This was Day 2.
On Saturday, all was seemingly on the up and up. Good sleep all around.
Kurt took Aidan to his swim lesson and when they got back we went to the donut shop down the street (and by down the street I mean like 15 minutes away). These are the best donuts we have ever had. They are cake donuts, made fresh every morning and still hot when you get them. And what's more, you get to pick the icing and toppings and filling you want and watch the Donut Guy as he puts the whole thing together just like you want it. Everyone enjoys this. All is well.
Kurt rests the second half of the day while the kids and I attend Saturday night church. During prayer requests, I asked for prayers for our family as we deal with all the little issues and annoyances that seem to be popping up; we could sure use a little peace and calm right now so that we could begin to settle in and feel more at home.
When we get home, Solly is in great need of a new diaper (so much for the potty training!) and as I am changing him Lily asks a question no parent ever wants to hear:
"Mom, why is it raining in your bedroom?"
Me (leaving a very stinky/soiled Solly standing naked in the hall): "What?" then: "KUUUUUUUUURT!" (Think Fred Flintstone yelling for Wilma…..only without the trendy caveman outfit and super fun dinosaur.)
This is when time seems to stand still even as all hell breaks loose (as does the ceiling) and the scene unfolds like something out of a movie. No sooner do we get one bucket under the leak when another hole pops up spewing more water. It is like a nightmarish circus game, where we are the objects being hit in the head by someone above spraying water from the gun……(I am thinking they must've won the biggest darn stuffed animal known to man!)…
As the kids go running through the house to find more buckets and bins and towels, I quickly get Solly re-diapered and then rush downstairs to attempt turning off the water. I am at a loss: there are so many levers in so many different places. I sprint to the phone, call our neighbor and ask him to please come help us. When I look in the room again, the ceiling is beginning to open apart, like the heavens opening wide to allow a dove to descend upon us and proclaim the good news…..oh wait, no, not at all like that.
Within moments, Knightly Neighbor shows up and runs downstairs to start turning off any and all water he can find as well as shutting off the electricity to our well and bedroom. During all this, Kurt has been making dozens of calls trying to find someone to help. No one will come.
The water finally stops. A collective sigh runs through the house (if you can call it that). Aidan and I go around and clean up the water that is now dripping into the basement via recessed lighting. We get a few more buckets in place and dry up the hardwood floors.
After our neighbor leaves, Kurt and I put the kids in front of the hockey game and I drive to Lowes with only 15 minutes till closing. Two elderly men help me figure out that my best bet is a rentable Rug Doctor……I fondly recall our last carpet episode in MN and think, "Well, at least I know how to use this thing." One of the old men offers me his phone number in case we should need anything. I tell him we will be okay, and thank him and I realize just how much I truly mean it.
The irony of water damage is that with all that water drenching your house, you are without usable water…a problem if you want to do things like use the plumbing and, um, drink, so I picked up a big 5 gallon jug just in case and as I was trying to get to my car a couple who had been eaves dropping at Lowes offered to help me to my truck. She pushed the cart, he carried the machine. My faith in humanity is restored.
There is cleaning and quiet and much tossing and turning. This is Day 3.
When Sunday rolls around we feel pretty defeated. It has been a really tough few days and weeks. I take the kids to breakfast so that we can use the bathroom and wash our hands and I explain the situation to the kids….blah blah blah need your help blah blah blah lots of stress blah blah blah please be on best behavior and keep the noise down for your daddy's sake…..I am pretty sure they only heard the blah blah blahs.
After breakfast we took Lily to a birthday party at a mall half an hour away. As we are stopped at a red light across from a big non-denominational church, I happen to glance at their scrolling sign which read: This Week's Message: "You will get through this." I snickered but thought surely this is a sign (sorry, bad pun) and began to feel at ease. Then Kurt called. Warranty won't pay for a frozen pipe and only covers the plumbing part anyway. Oh, and our insurance has a $28,000 deductible. We will have to pay for this out of pocket. Good feeling gone.
Kurt's Aunt met us at the mall. She was going to pick Lily up after the party but we hadn't seen her in over a year and so I needed her to be there so Lily would know who to go home with. She arrived in a lovely blue coat and immediately I felt calmer even though I knew Kurt was having a complete crisis of faith (and of everything else!) at home. But, my sense of calm was real and I was thankful. (Not my timing but yours dear God…..thanks I guess.)
And strangely enough, the aftermath has left a certain calm in the air as we take the necessary steps to resume normalcy and work toward restoring our home. It isn't what we would have chosen mind you, and we would have been totally cool with a little wave of God's gracious arm as He sent peace to us without all the chaos, but somehow, I think this is teaching us to let go and remember that there are just some things we can't control. And as Emergency House Restoration Guy pointed out: It could have been a whole lot worse. At the very least, it's been an interesting and adventurous beginning here in Mars.
(And we still pray for Faith….for our own as well as our dear little fish, who is now showing up in Lily's nightmares….yay.)
Then last week happened.
After a week of no dial tone, our home phone was finally back up and running. After finding out how ruthless and unforgiving tile can really be and after having two new phones stop working thereafter, (because that is how modern advances work in our house…..not very well) Kurt finally had a working cell phone. Things were finally looking up. Kind of.
On Thursday, as I was preparing to make breakfast for the five kids and get them out the door to school, the electricity in half the kitchen failed. (Don't worry, it was only the half that starts things like the coffee maker, toaster oven, stove top, microwave….um, everything but the overhead lights to be exact.) So, we skipped the eggs and oatmeal and had cold cereal and fruit instead. No big deal.
Later that day, our IT guy came over to help Kurt with his computer/phone set up. It was at that point that Kurt's new cell phone stopped working. He was so, so pleased. You could tell by the joy and triumph in his eyes and the extreme calm in his tone of voice…..
At any rate, I dropped Liam off at school mid-day and went out to run some errands. Solly and I were just finishing up at Target when Kurt called: "The Septic Alarm is going off, I do not have time for this, please call the Septic people." He gave me the name of our Water Guy and I pulled over to Google the number on my phone.
I arranged for Water Guy to come out, because who knew he was different than Septic Guy (I suppose this is a good separation.) Then Solly and I went to Staples. I was derailed when Solly announced he needed to go to the potty. (Oh, did I mention this was the week we decided to potty train Solly?) What he meant was he had already gone and after stripping him down in the restroom I realized I had grabbed the wrong diaper that morning and he had been wearing a swim diaper. Now, if he had been swimming then I am certain this would have sufficed. But if you know anything about diapers you know that swim diapers are not meant for actually holding anything of the liquid variety….. It was while realizing I had no extra diapers on me and Solly was naked because his britches were doused in urine, that Kurt called again to tell me to call off Water Guy (wrong guy) and call his mom who should have the info I needed to call the right guy.
Leaving Solomon standing there naked in the bathroom stall, I called Water Guy (again) who happens to know Septic Guy (for the record, I would so rather be referred to as Water Guy than Septic Guy, you know, if I had the choice) and then I packed Solly up in his wet clothes and quickly get him to the car (in negative 3 degree weather…) so that I could get ahold of Septic Guy.
When I got home, Septic Guy had me check the alarms out. Apparently we have two. After he explained to me how to silence the alarm, the conversation went like this:
SG: Which alarm is going off; it should say on the box.
Me: Um, I believe it says Sand Filter.
SG: Oh great! (He sounds relieved.) Well, not great but that's okay. Well, not okay but….
Me: Not okay-okay but okay for now, I got it.
SG: Yes, let me call you back and come on over in a couple days to check things out. I can't do anything right now but don't worry, nothing bad will happen. And if you don't hear from me, try me again next week. (This is really reassuring…..)
When I got home, Kurt was gone to replace his phone, again, and IT Guy was working on the computers. Electrician had fortunately been to the house about some other issue and was able to fix the kitchen short. All was well……
But later that night, Faith died. (Faith was Lily's fish, you know, the one that replaced Spikey, the Dragon. Seriously, the kid can't catch a break.)
There was eating and there was sleeping, oh, and a brief moment of grieving before the big flush. This was Day 1.
On Friday, all began well. Electricity was working, septic alarm was silently on but there were no problems, all phones were working. Then we head to the bank and Kurt spends several useless hours in which the bank can't get Kurt's business accounts transferred over because of a bunch of stuff that doesn't make sense to anyone but the bank, and really, maybe not to them either. He was very, very delighted and overjoyed with yet another issue to deal with. (Please insert sarcasm at will if you have not done so already.)
Later, after a series of bad phone calls (from what I can gather) we hear Kurt say that he cannot handle one more thing. (More or less.) The kids and I stay quiet in the attic watching a show until Kurt is ready to join us.
Aidan takes the night off of swimming so that we can just relax, order Chinese Take-Out and watch a movie as a family. We need a break.
There was some running and eating and sleeping (and perhaps some choice words here and there).
This was Day 2.
On Saturday, all was seemingly on the up and up. Good sleep all around.
Kurt took Aidan to his swim lesson and when they got back we went to the donut shop down the street (and by down the street I mean like 15 minutes away). These are the best donuts we have ever had. They are cake donuts, made fresh every morning and still hot when you get them. And what's more, you get to pick the icing and toppings and filling you want and watch the Donut Guy as he puts the whole thing together just like you want it. Everyone enjoys this. All is well.
Kurt rests the second half of the day while the kids and I attend Saturday night church. During prayer requests, I asked for prayers for our family as we deal with all the little issues and annoyances that seem to be popping up; we could sure use a little peace and calm right now so that we could begin to settle in and feel more at home.
When we get home, Solly is in great need of a new diaper (so much for the potty training!) and as I am changing him Lily asks a question no parent ever wants to hear:
"Mom, why is it raining in your bedroom?"
Me (leaving a very stinky/soiled Solly standing naked in the hall): "What?" then: "KUUUUUUUUURT!" (Think Fred Flintstone yelling for Wilma…..only without the trendy caveman outfit and super fun dinosaur.)
This is when time seems to stand still even as all hell breaks loose (as does the ceiling) and the scene unfolds like something out of a movie. No sooner do we get one bucket under the leak when another hole pops up spewing more water. It is like a nightmarish circus game, where we are the objects being hit in the head by someone above spraying water from the gun……(I am thinking they must've won the biggest darn stuffed animal known to man!)…
As the kids go running through the house to find more buckets and bins and towels, I quickly get Solly re-diapered and then rush downstairs to attempt turning off the water. I am at a loss: there are so many levers in so many different places. I sprint to the phone, call our neighbor and ask him to please come help us. When I look in the room again, the ceiling is beginning to open apart, like the heavens opening wide to allow a dove to descend upon us and proclaim the good news…..oh wait, no, not at all like that.
Within moments, Knightly Neighbor shows up and runs downstairs to start turning off any and all water he can find as well as shutting off the electricity to our well and bedroom. During all this, Kurt has been making dozens of calls trying to find someone to help. No one will come.
The water finally stops. A collective sigh runs through the house (if you can call it that). Aidan and I go around and clean up the water that is now dripping into the basement via recessed lighting. We get a few more buckets in place and dry up the hardwood floors.
After our neighbor leaves, Kurt and I put the kids in front of the hockey game and I drive to Lowes with only 15 minutes till closing. Two elderly men help me figure out that my best bet is a rentable Rug Doctor……I fondly recall our last carpet episode in MN and think, "Well, at least I know how to use this thing." One of the old men offers me his phone number in case we should need anything. I tell him we will be okay, and thank him and I realize just how much I truly mean it.
The irony of water damage is that with all that water drenching your house, you are without usable water…a problem if you want to do things like use the plumbing and, um, drink, so I picked up a big 5 gallon jug just in case and as I was trying to get to my car a couple who had been eaves dropping at Lowes offered to help me to my truck. She pushed the cart, he carried the machine. My faith in humanity is restored.
There is cleaning and quiet and much tossing and turning. This is Day 3.
When Sunday rolls around we feel pretty defeated. It has been a really tough few days and weeks. I take the kids to breakfast so that we can use the bathroom and wash our hands and I explain the situation to the kids….blah blah blah need your help blah blah blah lots of stress blah blah blah please be on best behavior and keep the noise down for your daddy's sake…..I am pretty sure they only heard the blah blah blahs.
After breakfast we took Lily to a birthday party at a mall half an hour away. As we are stopped at a red light across from a big non-denominational church, I happen to glance at their scrolling sign which read: This Week's Message: "You will get through this." I snickered but thought surely this is a sign (sorry, bad pun) and began to feel at ease. Then Kurt called. Warranty won't pay for a frozen pipe and only covers the plumbing part anyway. Oh, and our insurance has a $28,000 deductible. We will have to pay for this out of pocket. Good feeling gone.
Kurt's Aunt met us at the mall. She was going to pick Lily up after the party but we hadn't seen her in over a year and so I needed her to be there so Lily would know who to go home with. She arrived in a lovely blue coat and immediately I felt calmer even though I knew Kurt was having a complete crisis of faith (and of everything else!) at home. But, my sense of calm was real and I was thankful. (Not my timing but yours dear God…..thanks I guess.)
And strangely enough, the aftermath has left a certain calm in the air as we take the necessary steps to resume normalcy and work toward restoring our home. It isn't what we would have chosen mind you, and we would have been totally cool with a little wave of God's gracious arm as He sent peace to us without all the chaos, but somehow, I think this is teaching us to let go and remember that there are just some things we can't control. And as Emergency House Restoration Guy pointed out: It could have been a whole lot worse. At the very least, it's been an interesting and adventurous beginning here in Mars.
(And we still pray for Faith….for our own as well as our dear little fish, who is now showing up in Lily's nightmares….yay.)
1.19.2014
Gray Days
It has been over two weeks since I last had the chance to sit down and think, much less write. To be honest, life has been one big scramble: getting kids to school on time (for the most part), finding my way around the countryside, getting furniture put together and put in place, while also trying to meet people, find a church, sign kids up for things we want to be intentional about while avoiding the excess, on top of training for a marathon (because THAT was a wise, non-excessive decision…..) and needing to replace a car battery and a two-week old cell phone (tile can be so darn unforgiving) while at the same time our home phone stopped working (sharing one cell phone is kind of a drag if you must know) and shipments that are supposed to come this way went that way while others just didn't show up until weeks after they were supposed to (winter living in rural America??), and then there was the issue of the very red well water at 11:00 one night and the toilet that clogs every other time and the washer that doesn't complete the cycle, EVER, and the bunny who still needs a bigger hutch, and a cat who spent a day puking, a plant that bred tiny flies, shower curtains that keep falling down because kids keep pulling too hard and the list goes on and on and on…..hamster, meet wheel.
But, in spite of these things, and the ensuing madness, and the crazy, over-the-top-through-the-roof-and-back-again stress currently circulating through the house (something about someone trying to work at home without a single working phone and amidst the noise that comes from having a houseful of very exuberant [read noisy] children), Mars has proven to be a most lovely place. I still worry that eventually the perpetual gray will find its way deeper inside my psyche and start to hollow out my soul, but so far I have been able to block out the melodrama by making a list of all the blessings surrounding us here. I add something to my list each gray day and remind myself that under that big sheet of silly gray, the sun is just waiting to pounce…..I can just feel it…..ready and waiting…..pounce when ready….we're ready whenever you are Mr. Sun…..
At any rate, here is my current list:
1. We have a roof; a big, beautiful, working roof over our heads
8. We have grandparents nearby who can take the kids every now and again…..for a full 24 hours!
9. There is also a pleasant winery not too far away for those evenings we find ourselves unexpectedly kid-free. (See #8)
10. The grocery store here provides 2 hours of free childcare a day. (It adds a fresh, more attractive, perspective to the fact that I almost always forget a thing or two every time I shop…..Actually I think we may need a few items every day!)
11. We have wonderful new neighbors. One set brought wine one night, cookies the next, took me out riding on their Polaris RZR (think a cross between an ATV and an all-terrain golf cart) and then volunteered their teenage son to help with our kids since he has experience working with kids with Aspergers. Another has a teenage daughter who would like to babysit. And a third has the same name as one of my closest friends in MN and has a daughter a year older than the girls (who eagerly calls for playmates almost every day and has already invited our kids to a birthday party) and a son a year older than Aidan who has already stated he believes Aidan will be his best friend, a sentiment shared by Aidan as well. I love them all.
12. My mailbox has two sets of birds. One pair of Cardinals (which was my favorite bird from childhood) and one pair that from a distance could be mistaken as Black Capped Chickadees (my favorite bird from MN). It is like it was meant for me.
13. We have an automatic ice maker in our kitchen. And an ice maker in the bar in our basement. After 18 years of having to fill those darn plastic trays, over, and over, and over……I'm in heaven.
14. We have a home gym. I can run to my heart's content while enjoying watching Liam hoot and holler over sports teams he wouldn't know from Adam and games that happened decades ago.
15. There is a horse farm a minute away that will give us riding and barn/farm management lessons.
16. The little feed store "in town" sells chickens. 15 day old pullets per order to be exact and everything we could possibly need to get started (you know, excluding the coop which we will have to put up come spring….you know, so that we can have us some spring chickens.)
This is my list for January. What? What's that you say? There have only been 19 days in January and I already have 16 gray day blessings? Yeah, you do the math. But I just want everyone to know, each morning, I am up before the sun (okay, most mornings) and I watch it rise over yonder while the coffee brews and as it makes its way into the sky, before it takes its spot under the gray cotton sheet overhead, it gives me a little wink to let me know it is there…..ready and waiting to pounce…..I can almost feel its warmth….almost. And that is enough for now.
But, in spite of these things, and the ensuing madness, and the crazy, over-the-top-through-the-roof-and-back-again stress currently circulating through the house (something about someone trying to work at home without a single working phone and amidst the noise that comes from having a houseful of very exuberant [read noisy] children), Mars has proven to be a most lovely place. I still worry that eventually the perpetual gray will find its way deeper inside my psyche and start to hollow out my soul, but so far I have been able to block out the melodrama by making a list of all the blessings surrounding us here. I add something to my list each gray day and remind myself that under that big sheet of silly gray, the sun is just waiting to pounce…..I can just feel it…..ready and waiting…..pounce when ready….we're ready whenever you are Mr. Sun…..
At any rate, here is my current list:
1. We have a roof; a big, beautiful, working roof over our heads
2. And for the most part, Pennsylvania has been quite welcoming…..
3. There is a lovely little creek that runs near the back of our property and winds itself through the rolling countryside.
4. Our kids have the opportunity to get their "Born Free" on (to steal my friend Deb's comment) and run wild out back on the warmer days.
5. And on colder days, we apparently have an incredible sledding hill that I can watch from my kitchen window. (Note: if you see that tree on the left hand side, mid-picture, the kids actually start at the top of the hill and sled down and curve all the way down to that tree…..it's really very cool…until they hit the tree of course.)
6. The first day they came home on the bus, I counted seven school age kids (besides my own) walking up the street….our worries about whether there would be any kids out here were apparently unwarranted.
7. The TV in my home gym gives the kids an opportunity to use the reverse neck muscles from the ones they use when playing on their iPods and other screen games. (Hey, every bit counts in my book!)
8. We have grandparents nearby who can take the kids every now and again…..for a full 24 hours!
9. There is also a pleasant winery not too far away for those evenings we find ourselves unexpectedly kid-free. (See #8)
10. The grocery store here provides 2 hours of free childcare a day. (It adds a fresh, more attractive, perspective to the fact that I almost always forget a thing or two every time I shop…..Actually I think we may need a few items every day!)
11. We have wonderful new neighbors. One set brought wine one night, cookies the next, took me out riding on their Polaris RZR (think a cross between an ATV and an all-terrain golf cart) and then volunteered their teenage son to help with our kids since he has experience working with kids with Aspergers. Another has a teenage daughter who would like to babysit. And a third has the same name as one of my closest friends in MN and has a daughter a year older than the girls (who eagerly calls for playmates almost every day and has already invited our kids to a birthday party) and a son a year older than Aidan who has already stated he believes Aidan will be his best friend, a sentiment shared by Aidan as well. I love them all.
12. My mailbox has two sets of birds. One pair of Cardinals (which was my favorite bird from childhood) and one pair that from a distance could be mistaken as Black Capped Chickadees (my favorite bird from MN). It is like it was meant for me.
13. We have an automatic ice maker in our kitchen. And an ice maker in the bar in our basement. After 18 years of having to fill those darn plastic trays, over, and over, and over……I'm in heaven.
14. We have a home gym. I can run to my heart's content while enjoying watching Liam hoot and holler over sports teams he wouldn't know from Adam and games that happened decades ago.
15. There is a horse farm a minute away that will give us riding and barn/farm management lessons.
16. The little feed store "in town" sells chickens. 15 day old pullets per order to be exact and everything we could possibly need to get started (you know, excluding the coop which we will have to put up come spring….you know, so that we can have us some spring chickens.)
This is my list for January. What? What's that you say? There have only been 19 days in January and I already have 16 gray day blessings? Yeah, you do the math. But I just want everyone to know, each morning, I am up before the sun (okay, most mornings) and I watch it rise over yonder while the coffee brews and as it makes its way into the sky, before it takes its spot under the gray cotton sheet overhead, it gives me a little wink to let me know it is there…..ready and waiting to pounce…..I can almost feel its warmth….almost. And that is enough for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)