Bird Games

Duck, duck, duck......GOOSE!

We are in Florida to visit my family and today, I found myself with six kids, playing games. Duck, Duck, Goose (or Duck, Duck, Gray Duck if you are from MN...) was rather interesting with two 5 year olds, a three year old and two 2 year olds (and Liam in my lap). It went something like this:

At first, things seemed to run smoothly. Then Madeline became the "ducker." She went around the circle, bopping us on our heads as she called out "Duck" and finally got to Aidan. 

"GOOSE!" she yelled, bopping Aidan on the head. This got Lily excited so she jumped up and Madeline says, "Lily, chase me." 

Meanwhile, Aidan is already on his feet, running since he was goosed. Somewhere in the chaos, Jonathan (2-yo cousin)  decides he should run around the extremely dwindling circle as well. Ian (5-yo cousin) and I (still holding Liam) scoot in as the others run madly around, forgetting to return to their places. 

After a few minutes, I stop laughing and tell them it's time to change games. It is Aidan's turn to lead us in a game so he picks "Tiger Life" (invented by Aidan himself...picture Calvin ball in the old Calvin and Hobbes comic strip.)

"Ok," Aidan says. "I am going to tell you all what animal to be." (We all understand this game because a few games previously he had taught us to play "Elephant Life" in which we sat in a circle, pretending to be elephants who slurp up water and then spit it out all over with our long trunks...happy times...)

"I want to be a Tiger," Ian announces. 

"Ok, Ian, you are a Tiger," Aidan says. "Now Jonathan, do you want to be a Giraffe, an Elephant or an Earwig?" 

"Roooooooooar," Jonathan replies. "I'm a Bear!"

"Ok, you be an earwig then," Aidan says. So, when he got to me and told me I was a Penguin, I didn't feel so bad...at least I wasn't the Earwig!

Flying Chickens

The world's longest flight of a chicken that has been recorded is 13 seconds. The world's longest distance a chicken has flown (that has been recorded) is 301 1/2 feet....and now I know why...

Chickens, like kids, are not meant for flying. Flying is a last resort for them. And quite honestly, after we (my mother, myself and my four, lucky-to-still-be-living children) flew from CA to FL yesterday, flying now ranks up there with watermelons being pulled slowly out of ones nostrils, the labor pains of unmedicated childbirth or PAPER-CUTS, UNDER YOUR FINGERNAILS...DUNKED IN LEMON JUICE!

You see, we started the day in a hurry to get everything packed for our three week stay in FL. The kids excitedly packed things that would not be coming with us and I ran around unpacking and repacking and yelling orders and cleaning and well, that old saying, 'like a chicken with its head cut off' comes to mind...we managed though and drove Kurt to work so that we could stop by the Sprinkles Cupcake store before picking Kurt back up and heading to the airport...perhaps that was the first mistake...oh wait, no, that would be BUYING THE PLANE TICKETS.... 

Anyway, apparently, a little extra sugar goes an awful long way on a 4 hour flight to an Atlanta layover where we would have an hour in a busy airport to burn off the contagious energy of three wild kids before the last leg that would take us to our destination, at midnight, so that we could hop in a car and drive a little over an hour to get to the house...but, I am getting ahead of myself here. 

Lessons I learned about flying with children:

1) Don't.

Seriously, if you can rent an RV, complete with separate holding cells for each offending child (which would be all of them) you would be much better off paying the million-dollars-a-gallon for gas than buying plane tickets. But if you must fly with four small children in tow, I would give this advice: kennel them up and check them with your baggage...then you can enjoy the other passengers' screaming kids with compassion and bemusement all the while knowing your kids are safe and snug and unable to kick the seat in front of them while simultaneously doing bodily harm to each of their siblings to produce all sorts of frantic screaming and whining. 

There'd be no arguments with a stubborn-know-it-all 5 year old ("Hey Madeline, you know what those flashing lights are on the wings of the plane?" (No) "They make the plane go faster and faster." And then, as if on cue, the plane starts speeding up for take off. "See? I told you.")

There'd be no running for the 3rd time in five minutes to the airport bathroom with a streaking three year old who gives loud, live commentary from the stall ("Mommy, did you know that poop can be green? That's when you're healthy but when your body gets interesting, the poop is black and sometimes it's lots of colors.") but fails to actually finish the job so as to avoid having to trek back again, and again...and again...did I mention the pants half down?

There'd be no inconsolable two year old who wants mommy, but then, really doesn't; who wants to use the big toilet, but then falls in; who wants cookies but "No, not that cookie!" (or sippy cup, or treat or...).

And there would be no facial injury to an unsuspecting mom who, upon trying to get the fancy, outside-sound reduction earphones plugged in, managed to pop them in her own face, leaving a bruise along the entire left side of her nose and cheek so that when the plane started the decent, her face felt like it was imploding. (Hey, at least I didn't use Liam as a shield...)

Speaking of the baby, he was perfect. 

WAIT! Did you read that? The baby was perfect! So perfect that if they were all that way, the trip would have been extremely boring...Maybe it wasn't so bad after all and we can still return to CA by air without first sticking the kids on a train. And maybe on the way back, I will also avoid the ultra distracting in-flight trivia game...even though I won 2 out of 3 on that last leg and, being a tad over-competitive, really want to keep my lofty status of Traveling Trivia Champ...(granted, it wasn't like it was hard given they asked things such as "Who was the first NFL coach to win 4 Super Bowls?" and that was for sure part of the Steelers quiz I had to take in order to marry Kurt...oh, and also because after the first few hours, the questions started to show up again here and there...but who's counting?)

All things said, there are reasons chickens don't need to fly. And where kids are concerned, I would say 301 1/2 feet is surely far enough for all of us. 

  

Rotisserie Chicken, or, Why We Will Enroll Her in Gymnastics

These pictures were taken in our garage where the girls like to hang from the treadmill....Lily, although only two, can almost flip herself all the way over already....

The Hen Cam

The Hen Cam: This is the coolest chicken site yet! This wonderful woman has a webcam looking over her chicken coop where you can watch her hens all day long! Make sure to look inside...you may catch one laying an egg! (And the best part: her lop-eared bunny lives in there, too! It's like my own personal heaven!)

This week I discovered that my kids have an entrepreneurial flare. I was cleaning out the truck, getting ready for our trip down to Legoland, when it became apparent that they had been running a garage sale out of the back for some time. This particular day I found: 2 pairs of Mary Janes, 2 pairs of flip-flops, 1 pair of sandals, 3 water shoes, 1 shoe insole, 1 book, 1 Superman cape, a Jango Fett helmet, 1 knee pad, 3 sharpened pencils (which are NEVER a good thing to have laying around in the car...and one look up at the ceiling of the car will confirm why....BTW, have you any idea how milk can spill on the ceiling?) one adult swim suit complete with a wrap and one piece of mail that isn't even ours NOR in English! Now, I will take credit for the swimsuit but you have got to be kidding me! I wouldn't have been surprised to find another kid in there! And what makes this so impressive is that it has only been ONE WEEK since I last cleaned out the car. 

At any rate, after getting the truck emptied out, we filled it back up with the stuff needed for a day at Legoland, ran an errand, picked up some coffee, dropped off some dry-cleaning, picked up Midora (our 9 year old Mommy's Helper) and drove south. At 10 a.m. we arrived at my good friend Mary's who was planning on joining us to help even out the adult-child ratio but upon arriving at her house, we found out she had a beehive. And no, I am not referring to a new hair-do. Mary had been on her porch that morning and noticed an overabundance of bees. She looked a little closer and there was a hive about the size of, I don't know, LIAM, in her apple tree. So, since she had to wait for the bee man to come take the hive down she was no longer able to join us. 

So, as you have probably already noted, that left me and 5 kids, on our way to Legoland. And since I seem to have inherited my willfulness from my husband's side of the family, there was no chance I was going to change my plans after we had already made the hour drive. 

By the time we arrived at Legoland, the kids were complaining they were hungry but I was determined to put eating off until they had burned off some energy. So we started off in the Lego building rooms where Lily immediately tried to use the side of the Lego vat as a balance beam. After quickly falling in, she tried walking around in the Legos (picture the scene in I Love Lucy where Lucy is stomping in the barrels of grapes....It was NOTHING like that as legos are NOT soft and squishy!) Lily learned quickly that Legos are best left to building and I was just happy that she wasn't pulling her diaper off and pooping on the floor like the last time I had the kids there by myself (Hey, if at first you don't succeed, wait until you forget about the experience and try, try again...)

We then headed through Miniland where I had to stop Madeline from trying to trample through Legowood (kind of like Hollywood only more genuine) and by this time, the kids were acting as if they would succumb to famish at any moment. We tried to find something edible that didn't require a home equity loan but apparently theme parks are all about price gouging and those of us who forget we actually packed snacks end up with more food than we need and no money left for the ice cream treats we promised a week ago.  (I was kicking myself for not holding onto the money I found in the kids car seats.) 

At any rate, the kids did end up riding a few rides (yay Baby Bjorn!), getting their ice pops (yay credit!) watching a fire safety show (yay...for the sake of uniformity!) and making it home safely (and big, huge, grace-filled YAY!) which made for a fairly good day given it was me and FIVE kids (in case you didn't catch that the first time). 

I only wish we had it on the Hen Cam to prove it. 

Tastes Like Chicken

Things that have been said to "taste like chicken": Fried frog legs, fried rattlesnake, fried alligator, any other bird (minus ostrich), rabbit, tofu, and many other unidentifiable foods, (especially of the fried variety)...basically, anything can taste a little like chicken...

So, Kurt used to have this, well, let's call it a hobby to be nice. You see, he, like many other people on the internet, spent hours each week (or day as the case was) playing an online game called Never Winter Nights. From what I have been told, it is a lesser evil than World of Warcrafts but perhaps still the next of kin. At any rate, he would get online with his brothers and other online "friends" and they would go on these great adventures, creating all sorts of incredible characters that had all sorts of amazing strengths or abilities, fighting Sissy and Prissy, (dragons) and resurrecting each other from the dead and getting lost in limbo and well, you get my drift. It's a whole different world.

Once, at church, Aidan told his teacher that his daddy was at home playing his game on the computer. I can almost hear the conversation in my head:

"So Aidan, are you here with your mommy and daddy today?"

"No, Daddy's at home fighting dragons."

Anyway, one day, after missing out on about nine months of our lives, Kurt realized, "Wait, we had another baby?" and he decided to hang up his gaming spreadsheets and take a break (a very long never-ending break right honey? Honey...?) That was a sad, sad day. 

So, somewhere along the lines, Kurt's folks brought Aidan a froggy stuffed animal in the Webkinz family. If you don't know about Webkinz, you are truly missing out....if you are seven. For, if you adopt a Webkinz, you can go online and create a whole world around this animal. There are games to be played, jobs to do, money to be earned and spent, food to be eaten, houses to build up etc. and did I mention the games to be played? 

Well, this weekend, Aidan needed help figuring out how to play a game for his froggy, (known as Jackson.) Kurt went to help him and I fear he has now fallen off the wagon once again. You see, long after we sent Aidan and his siblings to bed, Kurt was still plugging away at this "strategy game" MEANT FOR 5-10 YEAR OLDS! It was all fine and dandy until I heard Kurt say:

"Man, Squiggles is TOUGH!" 

And that's when I knew, even online games can taste a little like chicken...

Fresh Chicken

Tip of the day: When you have 4 small children, it is never a good idea to buy fresh chicken that needs to be used the same day, or even by the next day. (Unless of course you don't mind eating chicken that was supposed to be used 3 or 4 days earlier...then I say, "Go For It!") 

Even the best intentions often get swallowed up by the unexpected. A good friend of mine once read our Mom's Group a poem saying "God bless our good intentions." Of course, we never fail to follow through on our good intentions around here...(In case you didn't already, insert sarcasm around "Of Course"...) Actually, I think I ask God to bless my good intentions at least once a day...

Likewise, a mother of 4 should NEVER say she will get on and blog something the very next day, complete with pictures no less, unless she happens to have that something written and on auto-send (if that is even possible). You know, kind of like you never ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see the baby on its way out of her. So, for this mistake, I apologize. I know you all have been eagerly awaiting Lily's birthday post with the pictures...

So, here it is. Lily's 2nd birthday.

First, we dropped Aidan off at school and went next door to our favorite coffee shop, Sugar Pies. Tami, the owner, is very hands on and loves kids. She brought out some musical instruments and sang Happy Birthday and then read books to Madeline and gave the girls each a bandana (ok, so the bandanas are technically meant for dogs but hey, they are cute on little girls, too.)

Then we headed out to the store to pick out a little gift. Lily picked out a box of three super friends (which Aidan immediately traded for some of his old ones) and a little pink purse and Madeline wanted to get Lily a My Little Pony (which she traded for one of her old ones). (Liam didn't seem to care so long as he got to sleep through it all and Lily was just happy to have a purse to stash Batman in.)

Finally, we weren't going to throw a party because we are cutting back some on our budget, and parties, well, they get kind of expensive. (Plus, she's two! Like she cares!) So, we decided to go with the left over cake I already wrote about and the little token gift. And then I won this free balloon bouquet to be delivered by Princess Pipsqueak, a real live clown. And since I LOVE CLOWNS and some day think it would be fun to BE A CLOWN (more on that later) I thought, hey, this is the perfect birthday gift for a 2 year old (and her mother). And then I spoke to Princess Pipsqueak and she was all, "Sooooo, you aren't have a party for your kid's birthday? (pause) Don't you think she might want a friend or two around to meet the clown at least?" (insert GUILT at will...) And as we thought about it, well, Lily does have a little friend here (Mia) and we thought, hey, that would be nice. So, Lily ended up with her little friend (and her family) over to enjoy an AWESOME cake from Dairy Queen (see previous post) and a Clown who chased them around the house until they were all worn out. God bless our good intentions but thanks for giving us what we didn't plan as well!

Lily cuddles up to Princess Pipsqueak

                            Lily opens her gift, with a little help from her siblings

         Lily inserts Batman into her pink purse...you just never know when you may need him...

Frozen Chicken

Apparently, many people freeze chicken to use for later. I have a hard time with this, mainly because our freezer really isn't big enough for much more than our ice box and veggies but also because once I put something in there, it is often forgotten....

So, I opened my freezer and pulled out the chunk of birthday cake I had frozen after my birthday two weeks ago. I thought maybe we could save some money by just recycling my birthday cake for Lily's birthday today but I have to say, there was NOTHING good about that thawed-out half-eaten cake. The flowers were smooshed, the cake was soggy, the icing tasted a little on the chemical side and there was NO WAY ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET I was going to make Lily eat that to celebrate her birthday! (I might as well serve the frozen chicken...) I was faced with a dilemma of course and my thoughts drifted to Little Town on the Prairie (Little House), where I am certain Ma had made a cake of some sort, (maybe a honey cake?) from scratch after hanging the clothes out to dry and milking the cow...and since our dryer has been broken and the clothes were out drying and we don't have a cow but I certainly do a lot of "milking" I thought, I, too could make a home made cake...but then I realized I had just used the last of the sugar to make our pancake syrup this morning, and that thought quickly vanished as I was certainly not up for taking 4 hot kids to the store for some sugar. After a call to the Dairy Queen, with a fully functioning drive-thru window, we raced out the door to buy a delicious Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard Cake. And I have to say, it was TOTALLY worth it! Happy Birthday to US!

When we got home, I had to rummage around my freezer to make room for the cake. As I already mentioned, we have a small freezer to begin with but what I can't possibly understand is, why was there an empty plastic water bottle in there, or worse yet, an empty box of ice cream, WITH FREEZER BURN! That's just wrong! It's almost as bad as when I cleaned out my car a couple weeks ago and I found 10 (that's T-E-N) pairs of kids shoes on the floor, 1 pair of slippers, 1 frilly princess shoe, 1 orange jelly sandal, 5 pairs of dirty socks and 1 completely hardened donut, hidden in the compartment next to Lily which I am guessing she was saving as arsenal for later...who knows when we might be attacked by ravenous coyotes or something and she would need a round object that registers a 10 on the Mohs scale...a diamond in the rough to be certain...

At any rate, Lily had a wonderful "party." Our good friends came over with their two children and we had a clown deliver a balloon bouquet (something I had won at a dinner party) and we had ice cream cake before Lily went running through the sprinklers, in her Birthday Suit...it was so fitting...

Tomorrow, I will post about the rest of the day as we had a delightful time, and there will be pictures, lots of pictures, and I am sure you will have trouble sleeping tonight in anticipation but, please get the rest you need to make it through another Graceful Chicken post! We had some grace-filled moments for sure!

Oh and I don't think there will be room for frozen chicken...