The Plague

"Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."-Jesus

Over the summer we spent what felt like forever fighting off the evils of a relentless stomach bug. I promised it all sorts of sweet nothings if only it would leave us alone for a few years, or ever.

Well this week, the plague seems to be making its way back through the community. It is at large in the school system and in our neighborhood. I know at least five families (who have absolutely no social connections or ties in any way to each other) who have had it sweep through their houses. 'Be afraid,' it taunts. 'Be very afraid.' And this time, I have actually found myself preparing, just in case: laundry washed and folded, toilets scrubbed, (seriously, who likes hugging a dirty toilet bowl?), Lysol ready, buckets located and Clorox standing by!

So today, as I was debating whether to hang garlic or smear the blood of a freshly sacrificed lamb over our front door, the phone rang.

"Karen," said my neighbor. "How are you? Has the stomach bug gone through your house yet?"

"Um, no, not yet but I hear it is sweeping the community like wildfire," I answered.

"Well, my boys all had it....I felt really bad for [my oldest] because he actually threw up all over the hallway at school...I was just glad it wasn't here in my house, ya know what I mean? But [my youngest] is back at school today of course. Anyway, can he come home with Aidan after school?" she asked....

(Hmmm, make that garlic, blood and perhaps a cross or two.)

"...My parents need a ride to the doctor's office and..." she continued, telling me all about her parents' failing eyesight and other such calamities.... "Anyway, would that be okay?"

"Sure," I said, as I neurotically washed my hands while trying to figure out the easiest way to drag them all to preschool pick-ups before heading off to Aidan's drum lesson and whether or not it would be rude to put each child in their own plastic bubble first. "It's not a problem at all."

After all, we like to let our kids play with matches, too....(just kidding.) I am certainly happy to help out a friend but I am guessing this story is not yet over....just a hunch of course but we don't seem to have much luck with this little bugger and I have seen the things my kids touch before sticking their filthy hands into their mouths for no apparent reason whatsoever other than to insure the proper amount of germ exposure each day. Ick.

At any rate, if you don't hear from me for a while, you know why. And on that note, I'm off to find some blood-dipped crosses made from strings of garlic...and perhaps eat a lot of chocolate...(Hey, why not?)

"Be afraid. Be very, very afraid." -the plague


  1. I never get to comment on your blog properly because it comes thru my email as your Follower -- but I always read it, I always get a smile and a laugh and I love your writing.

  2. Thanks Deb! Given you are one of my writing heroes, that means a lot! :)

  3. p.s. I might have to rub it in that you are my Follower too....does that make me sort of like Jesus? (LOL, kidding of course!)


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