Home again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

16 hours in the car later, some hours containing up to FOUR STOPS, and we are home.

I had the play by play typed out (since Anna Karenina only competes so well against the reality that is our life) but I think I will spare you. Actually, on second thought, if you have been reading this blog for this long, you probably have nothing better to do anyway (hee hee, just teasing!)

8 a.m. - We leave the lake house in Mercer, PA

8:10 (ish) -Kurt's brother Al calls to ask if we’re there yet...although I have a few choice words in my arsenal, I laugh because hey, that's pretty funny.

8:19 - Lily asks if we’re home yet: “No Lily," I tell her. "Just close your eyes; we’ll be there in about 16 hours."

8:25 -We stop for gas, coffee, and adult bathroom break. I try to get DVD player working and find out the battery on the remote is dying so movie won’t go on....this is going to be one LONG trip!

8:39 - Aidan says he has to go bathroom. Irritated that we didn't make him go 14 minutes ago, we stop on the side of the road.

9:00 a.m. - By some miracle, we are able to get a DVD going.

9:15 - Lily yells out: "I'm GOING POOP!" Bathroom break #3!

9:19 - Lily tells us (again) she wants to go home. Liam starts crying and we realize we have no milk.

10:00 a.m. - Aidan asks if he can play his computer game and we realize we have no power cord. Liam is still crying.

11:15 a.m. - Having actually made it a full hour without needing to stop, we stop for gas and take another bathroom break. Kurt trys to buy battery for DVD remote: he takes it in, no luck finding 3 volt and then proceeds to lose the one we do have in between the seats of the car. DVD doesn't play without the remote. We bought milk which puts Liam (and us) out of his misery. Madeline screeches that she is hot and itchy and then strips down to undies before buckling back in. I find the power cord for Aidan, phew!

11:30 - Madeline complains she wants to go home....join the club kid.

12 noon - Lily tells us she wants out "NOW!", and struggles to get free of seat, but she can’t. Meanwhile, Madeline falls asleep.

12:04 - Liam and Madeline are out, Aidan is occupied, Lily starts choking on nothing, “Mom, I’m coughing!” she says. “You’re ok, try to go to sleep.” She says okay and starts singing to herself while hugging her new stuffed purple eggplant she has named “Watermelon.”

12:08 - Lily’s out. YES!

12:09 - Kurt pulls over b/c he has to pee again….("What, are you pregnant?") Brooks has to go, too….Seriously! We may make it home by next week….

12:12 - We are finally on the road AND everything is peaceful and quiet…Ahhhhhh.

12:37 - We have to stop to pay tolls in a long, slow line so of course, Liam and Madeline awake, argh!

12:54 - We get off the tollroad and drive into the boonies to find a Walmart so that we can get the battery for the DVD remote and have some lunch (Where Kurt and Brooks both eat Chili! Really? On a 2 week car trip??? Ugh!)….We are in Indiana….only about 4 days to go…..

1:15 p.m. - At Wendy’s, all the kids are sitting and eating quietly when an older gentleman comes up and tells us how well-behaved our children are and how nice it is to see ("You just don't see that too often anymore.")….In one picturesque moment, (even though I know the truth: that they are in a car-induced walking coma) this trip becomes totally worth it.

3:47 p.m. - Madeline finds the apples and plastic knives her Nanna packed for us. She gives Lily one of each (knife and apple) ….Although she turns over the apple, I can't convince Lily to stop wielding the knife..."This is bad, Dory, this is very bad." I practically climb into her lap to retrieve it, which is met with screaming.

4:00 p.m. - Aidan asks to cut his own apple, and against my better judgement, I give him the knife and apple and he immediately cuts himself, thus confirming my judgement. (It was poor.)

4:16 - We stop AGAIN (now in Illinois)….I buy some fruit snacks for rewards while we play The Quiet Game which Aidan wins by a landslide....(Three, Two, One, Quiet: Liam immediately starts babbling so he's out, Lily says "Liam is saying ahhhhh!" so she's out, Madeline says "Lily is POINTING at me!" so she's out. Aidan wins, again....) Total duration to play 10 rounds: about 5 minutes.

5:05 p.m. - Karen sneezes sending Liam into 5 minute laughing fit which confirms that we have definitely been cooped up a bit too long. We still have half a trip left and for sure we are down to 3 more days of this....

Fast forward to 10 p.m. - We are listening to music to get the kids to go to sleep and Liam starts practicing his beat box and laughing hysterically at himself...I think he has finally gone over the edge....

So, you get my point. It was grueling. We arrived back home a bit after midnight three days ago and are still in recovery....

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