Too Cold To Snow
You know it is too cold to go out when:
1. Ice is growing around your windows and doors....on the INSIDE of the house.
2. You check the thermometer to see what the temp is outside and the reading says: "Gone south for the winter."
3. You take your kid to the bus stop (all of 20 feet away) and your neighbor is sitting there with their kid, in a car. (I immediately gave him a hard time for being wimpy considering he is a native midwesterner and then stuck Aidan in the car with them before sprinting back inside to find that my jeans had frozen stiff and I couldn't feel all my toes!)
4. Your bread is frozen....IN THE CUPBOARD! (Seriously, maybe a little more insulation would be helpful!)
6. You open up the microwave to warm up milk for the baby and you find ICICLES HANGING INSIDE! (To quote Steve Martin in Cheaper by the Dozen, it's "Funny, but WRONG!")
5. You get well-intentioned (bordering on frantic) emails from your native Floridian mother telling you to dress warmly because it is very cold in Minnesota (um, duh), and reminding you that you were not raised in that kind of cold and by the way, you are no longer in southern California....you know, because you might have missed the 100 degree difference in temperature....or perhaps you simply didn't notice the ice inside your house....
7. Your slightly-damp-from-your-morning-shower-hair freezes into crunchiness when you step outside. (Certainly enough to remind you that you no longer live in CA. See mom, I didn't need your reminder after all...hee hee)
8. You need to put on a jacket, to look out the window.
9. It's TOO cold to snow....and when you hear it is hitting zero down south you think, "Wow, zero degrees? How nice and toasty that would be!"
10. You start comparing the weather to the arctic circle. "Well, gee, this cold front isn't so bad.....for northern Alaska!"
And just for the record, at -24 (feels like -42ish) I am now completely convinced that global warming is a bunch of hogwash....in case you cared.