Wow....and I thought human poop was potent! Speaking of China...
Having just finished cleaning their rooms, the kids were sitting down to a TV reward of Scooby Doo when Madeline asked:
"Daddy, what's a mummy?"
Kurt was about to respond when Aidan said, "I know all about mummies, Madeline. They're.... they...they make them in China."
And Madeline was completely satisfied with that answer. Conversation over.
Earlier in the day however...
We were on the way from church to Costco when Aidan popped the question: "Mom, when you have a baby, how does it get INTO your tummy?"
I sounded a bit like Barack Obama in his Saddleback Church debut: "Uh, well, uh," ....big pause. "God gives a mommy the baby," I finally said.
"I know," Aidan said. "But HOW does the baby get into your tummy? I mean, what is the process?"
Are you frickin' kidding me? You're five! Crap! I'M NOT PREPARED! ARRRRRGH!
And here is where I can relate to Obama. He knew the "when does life start" question was coming and he also knew that no matter how he answered it, it wasn't going to be so comfortable sitting there in that great big, crowded church. At least I wasn't on National Television...or running for president...
"Well Aidan, you see, when girl babies are born, they have lots of tiny eggs inside of their bodies," I started. This met with a minute or so of gigantic giggles as I watched the you-have-to-be-joking look on his face think through a dozen chicken eggs lined up inside his mom. I waited. "Then, when she is an adult and gets married and she and her husband so decide, God makes one of those eggs grow a baby." Phew, I thought. That wasn't so bad.
"Yeah, but HOW?" Aidan insisted. Ack!
"Well Aidan, you see, when girl babies are born, they have lots of tiny eggs inside of their bodies," I started. This met with a minute or so of gigantic giggles as I watched the you-have-to-be-joking look on his face think through a dozen chicken eggs lined up inside his mom. I waited. "Then, when she is an adult and gets married and she and her husband so decide, God makes one of those eggs grow a baby." Phew, I thought. That wasn't so bad.
"Yeah, but HOW?" Aidan insisted. Ack!
Sigh.
"Well, you see when boy babies are born, they have the ability to make lots of seeds," (pause for the continuation of laughter, a few chuckles and a snort as he thought through a garden growing inside himself.) "And when a boy becomes an adult and gets a wife," I continued, "God lets the seeds meet one of the eggs and it makes a baby-Hey, what do you guys want to eat at Costco?!"
"Pizza!" (Aidan)
"Churro!" (Madeline)
"Emonade!" (Lily) They shout.
Next time, I'm trying the "they make them in China" approach.
Thanks for giving me the script!
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